


A River Runs Through Him

by Sica520



Category: RWBY
Genre: A Moderate bit of RoseGarden, A bloody magical war against your evil immortal abusive exwife, A tiny bit of RoseGarden, After the end of the series, Anger, Blake and Ozcar compare notes on abusive crazy exes, Boy with two souls, Broken Pedestals, Complicated Relationships, Drabble Collection, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Manipulation, Especially if said divorce causes a 1000 year war, Everyone Has Issues, Family Dynamics, Friendship, Guilt Shame Self-Loathing Trifecta, I am here acting as Therapist for all of Remnant, I should probably change the tag from a tiny bit of RoseGarden to Yes, Identity Issues, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Lets address all of our issues and work them out, Loneliness, Mentioned Adam Taurus, Moral Dilemmas, Not too much, OK now 3/4 stories have mentioned RoseGarden, One Shot Collection, Oops, Oscar is confused, Oz feels like he shouldn't have anyone left in his corner, Ozcar, Ozpin has become Oscar, Past Blake Belladonna/Adam Taurus, Past Salem/Oz, Rebuilding, Reconciliation, Resentment, RoseGarden, Say it once more for the people in the back EVERYONE. HAS. ISSUES., Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Should I feel bad if I maybe murdered them?, Soul Bond, Soul Merge, Survivor Guilt, Team Bonding, Tested Loyalty, There is indeed RoseGarden in this story, Unhealthy Relationships, What does that mean? Let's find out, Why do I still miss someone who was absolutely awful to me?, Why?, and all of my own headcannons that apply to "souls merging into one, and everyone needs to come to terms with that, and now thanks to Yang's chapter I can add abandonment issues, and ptsd, and running from problems, because good brothers grimm they need one, but definitely different, but he somehow does?, but no longer a tiny bit, convoluted emotions that no one really understands, divorce is hard, everything is different now, not quite bad, not quite good, or Oscar has become Ozpin, should I feel bad that my crazy abusive murderous ex is dead?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2020-06-03 19:55:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 35,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19471045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sica520/pseuds/Sica520
Summary: "Eventually all things merge into one, and a river runs through it." - Norman Maclean.Even when the seemingly endless war is finally over, there is still much to do. Homes to be rebuilt. Family and friends to reunite. Changes to be taken account of. After the war most everything is different, especially him. After the merge Oscar Pine struggles with who he has become and what the future holds for him.(Aka a bunch of one shots with different people reacting to how Oscar is after the merge)





	1. Another Sun Rises in the Morning (Jaune)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back with more Oscar Ozpin Merge Shenanigans. This takes place after the destined final battle of the series, I won't go into too much detail on how I think that will go, and after the merge is complete. The merge is entirely how I head cannon it to be. So I guess this will most likely become an AU. There are some references to some of my other Oscar fics but you don't have to read them to read this. This will be a series of one shots with different characters reacting to Oscar. Constructive Criticism is welcomed.
> 
> (ps. I edited the chapter after doing a bit more research into old and middle english grammar patterns/ words/ word order, because if I am going to have Oscar complain about them I should do my required job as a writer and actually look them up. lol)

Jaune

* * *

Everything was winding down.  
  
The war was finally over.  
  
Jaune didn't know how he felt.  
  
Relieved.  
  
Tired.  
  
Spent.  
  
Before them lay the broken landscape of Beacon Academy.  
  
On one of the broken down benches, that used to be a nice quiet place to relax and take in the scenery while doing homework, a figure sat slumped over. A young man, too young to have remembered Beacon in it's prime. Dust, he was still too young to even be able to _attend_ the school. And yet here he sat looking at the ruins with a deep personal pain.  
  
As if it was his home in pieces.  
  
Jaune joined him.  
  
The young man noticed Jaune and sighed, sounding much older than it seemed possible. "Beacon. I had nearly forgotten what it looked like. Now is she a mere shadow of her former self, is she not?" His tone sounded slightly amused, but his strange gold mixed eyes held sorrow and a deep crushing guilt.  
  
Jaune looked at him. "yeah, I remember the first time I saw it, shining like an emerald jewel in the sun," From the airship they had been able to see everything.  
  
Coming in this time was like a warped parallel of the first time he had come to Beacon.  
  
At least he hadn't throw up this time.  
  
He had wanted to. But for vastly different reasons.  
  
"The cradle for famous huntsman. The training ground for great heroes. Choice's protector. The beacon of hope for all the world. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Just like her old crooked headmaster, huh?"  
  
"...Oscar,... you're not blaming yourself again are you?"  
  
"You ask as if I ever stop,"  
  
"Yeah, just...try to remember that you are more than just your mistakes,"  
  
He chuckled. "Of course. I am an amalgamation of all the other's mistakes too,"  
  
"Not what I meant,"  
  
"I know,"  
  
"Oscar,... Please. Do you remember what we talked about?"  
  
"To which time are you talking about? Because, I remember everything, Mr. Arc,"  
  
"Do you remember that you asked me once to forgive you? Do you remember that I said I did? And still do,"  
  
The young man gave a bitter laugh, "I ...kinda had no idea ... _who_ I was asking you to forgive back then,"  
  
"You. Oscar Pine,"  
  
"Yes. And you forgave _Oscar Pine_ , the child who had never done anything wrong. But ...you and I both know that you never...Uh...really forgave... _me_ ,"  
  
There was a pause as both of them knew that statement to be true.  
  
"...No...I...didn't. Oscar asked me to...And I did try, I owed it to Oscar. But in the end I...couldn't keep my promise. I am sorry Oscar,"  
  
Oscar gave him a sad hurt smile. "Don't be. I could never truly forgive myself either. Truthfully I deserve not anyone's forgiveness. I have done too much,"  
  
"Yeah, ...you have. There are things I will _never_ forgive,"  
  
They looked up at the top of the tower where a young warrior fought valiantly and died tragically.  
  
The tower itself was still in pieces.  
  
Destroyed.  
  
Broken.  
  
"I know,"  
  
"I never wanted to know the answer to these questions, but I can't help it. Just tell me, so I can know how much I really should hate you. Did you know that Pyrrha hated that she was put on a pedestal away from everyone and treated differently because she was a prodigy? Did you know that she was one of the absolute worst people to try and turn into a maiden? Did you know exactly what it would do to her?"  
  
"Had I known that as a fact about Miss Nikos, in particular? No. However, it is not an uncommon feeling for those on a pedestal to begin to resent it. Many prodigies are forced into isolation, myself included. Miss Rose also brought up similar worries, when she was moved ahead two years. There was certainly a good chance that Miss Nikos would not react well to this added separation... As for if I knew what it would do to her. I could guess that she would go through something a lot like what...I went through. Go through. Every time. All those terrifyingly confusing questions about identity and reality,"  
  
"And you still went through with it,"  
  
"...I _had_ to. I _needed_ her. Beacon needed a guardian, and I wanted to believe she was ready. I took a risk. A gamble and it failed. I am sorry," the young man buried his face in his hands out of shame.  
  
"A gamble? You bet her _life_. _Her soul_. I _can't_ forgive you for that," Jaune sprung to his feet, looking down at the person responsible for everything with contemptuous anger.  
  
"I understand, it was awful what I did,"  
  
"Yes, it was,"  
  
"It wasn't even the worst thing I did. You want to know how much you should hate me? As much as is possible, because I had a backup plan as well. The second gamble that eventually did pay off. Miss Ruby Rose needed access to her eyes. She needed something horrifyingly traumatic to awaken them. And I couldn't help but hope that the Fall would provide that push, and it did. In the form of my first plan, Miss Nikos, failing,"  
  
"So you..."  
  
"I didn't _plan_ for Miss Nikos' death, even _I_ am not quite that heartless. But I did factor it in. It was a possibility that I was well aware of. One that I knew might lead to some... benefits if it played out. That was another reason why I took the gamble I did. And I _did_ take advantage of her death,"  
  
Jaune stared at the boy in absolute disgust. "You really are _despicable_ ,"  
  
"Yes. I know,"  
  
Pyrrha wasn't the only one Ozpin took.  
  
"And I can't really forgive what you did to Oscar, either," As he said that he turned away, so he didn't have to look at Oscar's face.  
  
The face Ozpin stole.  
  
But it didn't help much, Ozpin still spoke with his stolen voice.  
  
Jaune was constantly reminded of who this boy _was_.  
  
Who he had once been.  
  
And who he was _now_.  
  
"Yes, he was far too young to become... well, me. Far too young to fade away so soon... I mean I am still here, but I am not...Me? By the brothers. This is far too confusing and complicated. I hate this,"  
  
"Yeah, ...complicated. Oh dust, I wish I could just despise you!"  
  
"So, then you _don't_ despise me?" That sounded for a moment like Oscar, unsure worried and scared of what Jaune might do.  
  
"Yes. No. I don't know. I don't forgive you. I will _never_ be able to forgive you. But I don't know if I fully despise you,"  
  
"Oh,"  
  
He faced the boy again. "I want to see you as Oscar,"  
  
Oscar was in front of him. Sure he looked a little bit older than when they first met, but he still looked like Oscar. He was wearing a more professional huntsman combat gear instead of his simple farm clothes. He was wearing so much green, Ozpin's color. The green fit him. His eyes now perpetually had swatches of gold in them.  
  
Other than those subtle differences he still looked like Oscar.  
  
But he _wasn't_.  
  
Not anymore.  
  
"I _promised_ Oscar that I would still see that part of you. If we saw you as Oscar, then he wouldn't fade away completely" Because as long as they treated him like Oscar. Tried to interact with him in the same way. Talked to him like they were still friends. Then Oscar wouldn't be gone.  
  
Right?  
  
But it would all be pretend. A lie.  
  
Every single time this person opened his mouth, it sounded like Ozpin. When he spoke about himself it was almost always from the perspective of Oz. In fact just a second ago he had referred to Oscar in the third person, as someone outside of what he considered himself.  
  
Back when it was Oscar there, Jaune had been so worried about Ozpin that he had hurt Oscar.  
  
Back then there were times when they had used the boy as a go between. Seeing him as only Ozpin.  
  
A way to talk to Ozpin.  
  
A way to get back at Ozpin.  
  
Now when all he wants is to actually talk to Oscar all he gets is Ozpin.  
  
How ironic.  
  
" ...But I can't... I don't know how Ruby does it,"  
  
"It is understandable. I am _not_ fully Oscar anymore, therefore it would be... _difficult_... to treat me as if I was. Admittedly Miss Rose has always been a little too willing to naively ignore the more inconvenient truths of the world. This one included. Although, even she cannot hide those quiet moments when she mourns for her friend,"  
  
"We told you over and over again that we wouldn't let you fade away into him, but..."  
  
"That terminology is a tad bit off, if anything Oz faded into _me_. I have every single memory, thought, and experience of his shoved into my head, and... well, memory is a rather large part of _identity_. It would have been impossible for those lives not... to have _changed_ me. And then I suppose... from there it comes down to simple arithmetic, I was only Oscar Pine for fourteen years and weighed against the thousands and thousands of years I have lived; it is not much. I am lucky if _any_ of Oscar survived, truthfully. ...Anyhow, you could never have stopped it. It was what was always going to happen. Oscar,...he...I knew that. I would not have held that against you. I do not hold it against you. There was nothing anyone could have done, including me,"  
  
"But some of Oscar Pine did survive,"  
  
"Do you think so?" That young voice that was still finishing puberty cracked with a painful hope.  
  
"I have to, I made a promise to always see a part of him inside you,"  
  
"We agreed to lie not to one another, Mr. Arc. I recall your promise, but that is not what I asked. Please, have some pity on an old old man,"  
  
"Yes. I can see you in there Oscar,"  
  
Some of his friend. Bits and pieces. Not much. But it was still there.  
  
In a way that made it hurt more.  
  
If he was just one hundred percent Ozpin, then Jaune wouldn't have to feel so conflicted. He could just hate him and be done with it.  
But because he did see brief moments when he saw his friend, the boy who he had begun to consider a kind of little brother, he couldn't hate this person.  
  
"How?"  
  
Even that question sounded painfully similar to when Oscar had asked if they could tell who was in control.  
  
"Well...For starters. You reject lying, the old professor Ozpin never would have done that,"  
  
"Lies only hurt people, and I think I have hurt enough people in my years,"  
  
"Exactly. Ozpin never shared that philosophy. Or he continued lying despite it hurting people. Another thing, Oscar Pine was a scared little boy who never asked for any of this and never wanted to lose himself. In fact he was terrified of the idea, but that didn't stop him from fighting, helping, and doing what's right. While, Professor Ozpin was a coward, a shady coward who gave up and gave in, Oscar Pine was one of the bravest people I knew. He would have to be to fight through that. He was a young hero who simply wanted to make the world a better place and refused to give up. I see that same desire in you,"  
  
"I think you give me too much credit. I was completely out of my depths, I still am...In a way. Besides, I am a coward or _still_ a coward if you prefer," Oscar looked away in shame. His voice grew quiet as if he didn't want Jaune to know what he said. "I would have to be, to still want all of this to end,"  
  
"But...we have reached the end, it's over,"  
  
"Yes...But that is not exactly what I meant,"  
  
"So what do you want to end, then?"  
  
"Myself. My life. This confusion. This pain. Everything,"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I have been alive for far far far too long, Jaune. I just want rest... And as I said before, ...I am a selfish coward,"  
  
"You're not going to..." Jaune found himself gazing up at the tower again. "Are you?"  
  
"No. Truthfully, I am afeared that I might come back. I am too cravenly to try, and there's a chance that my curse is not quite gone. After all, we may have stopped Salem, but my task is as of yet still incomplete,"  
  
"You mean the task of accomplishing literal world peace? Because I think that's a bit of an unfair expectation for them to have placed upon you,"  
  
"Natheless, it is my task and until I achieve it I will never rest in peace,"  
  
"Rest in peace as in death?"  
  
He was silent. Which served as an answer in itself.  
  
"Oscar, honestly, no lies or half truths, do you really want to...Die?" Jaune sat down again to get closer to the boy, to try and comfort him somehow.  
  
"I would venture that if we were being completely honest, without all the half-truths, we could say Oscar Pine is already dead. I am... only what is left. As for Ozma, ...I am tired,"  
  
"No, I can't accept that. You're not gone, Oscar...just...well... Different,"  
  
He gave a bitter laugh. "Part of the whole problem is that I do not feel any difference. Now do not misunderstand, I am aware that I am different. It would be impossible for me to know not I am different. But ...I uh...don't really know how to explain it. Like I know for a fact that I am different, but I feel it not, but that in and of itself is weird and different. Instead I feel like I was always supposed to feel this way, that it is.. _.right_. That I am somehow more _complete_... I am a little morbidly curious about everything that has changed, but in the same way I am terrified of knowing fully just how different I am,"  
  
"So what are you asking? Do you want me to try and tell you which parts of you are which?"  
  
"No. By the brothers, no. It's hard enough for _me_ to muddle through these feelings, and I durst not inflict that task upon anyone else. The process of figuring out from whence each trait came, is far too confusticating and downright _impossible_ to untangle. I am not asking you to try. I am merely lamenting the fact of this reality,"  
  
"It might be easier for an outside observer to try," Jaune just somehow wanted to help his friend.  
  
By comforting the man he hated.  
  
How ironic.  
  
"Is it? Could you even reliably tell us apart even when we actually _were_ separate entities?"  
  
"No... No... I couldn't really. To be completely honest, there were times when... I _couldn't_ tell which one was in control," The horrible horrible truth. That Oscar had always acted a little like Ozpin. And it only got stronger and more intense. Truthfully, Jaune wasn't sure he ever really knew Oscar. After all he had met the boy after he had already spent months with Oz in his head, changing him. But Jaune didn't want to think about that, couldn't think about that.  
  
"Yes, I remember...Funny how you really were right back then," It was said in that tragic amused tone, Ozpin used so frequently.  
  
"I wish I wasn't. I didn't want to be,"  
  
"Yes well...What happens is not dependent on what we want to happen, in fact in my experience the two seem to be in direct opposition,"  
  
"Yeah, well. We can always _rebuild_ , right. Work hard and improve our reality to become what we want,"  
  
"I... As your teacher I should encourage your optimistic and go get'em attitude. However, since we agreed on telling the truth, I can only say that in my own life it seems like I _regress_ rather than improve,"  
  
"No you didn't. I mean... Oscar Pine was an improvement over Professor Ozpin. He worked to be better, ...not that we treated him any better,"  
  
More pain. More guilt. He had promised to be better after that incident. He had promised to care for Oscar before condemning Oz. He had _promised_ to see Oscar first.  
  
Now he was breaking that promise _again_.  
  
"No you did not... But even after that so called improvement, _he_ still became _me._ Or _I_ still became _him_?... Oscar still became Oz. However you want to put it, I still slid backwards. It was only a matter of time before that youthful altruistic energy was drained out of me, until I was as broken down and tired as...well, _Me. Oz_. Only a matter of time until you could trust me no longer . Only matter of time until I started seeing these sacrifices as _essential_ and taking more horrible gambles in a futile attempt to fulfill a _hopeless_ task. Only a matter of time until I became just as _corrupted_ and callous as you think Ozpin to be,"  
  
"Yeah, but don't you forget you are just as human as the rest of us, despite how many years you've lived,"  
  
"Human, huh?"  
  
"Yup. That was one of the hardest things for me to come to terms with. You are not this all powerful chess playing god that you pretended to be. But nor are you this terrible manipulative demon that we made you out to be. And you are not some infallible mythical perfect archetype from legend. You are just a _human being_. Behind the curtain is just a normal man who has been through too much,"  
  
"The last part is certainly true. I am so tired, Jaune. I am so old. And... Well...So _alone_ ,"  
  
"You're not alone, Oscar we are here for you,"  
  
"Even if I am Oz? I now am fully _Oz_. There's no more ignorance or innocence that I can hide behind now. Before you were lashing out at someone who wasn't involved, but since then I have become the head perpetrator,"  
  
"It's not your fault,"  
  
"Oh, but it _is_. This isn't just second hand guilt anymore. It literally _was_ me who did these things. Or at least I remember doing those things as if I had done them, I _remember_ my _despicable_ reasoning and _excuses_ I tried to hide behind, so really what's the difference? I _remember_ making the choice to free Salem. I remember _loving_ her. I remember seeking her out. Listening to her. Ruling with her by my side. I remember _obliterating_ good men in the battlefield, with the hand of destruction, simply so I could be crowned king again. I remember establishing Vale. Building the academies. I modeled Beacon after the tower of Salem, both to remind me _why_ I needed to build the schools in the first place, and to serve as a kind of cosmic cathartic _punishment_ shutting myself in that same tower to try and atone for letting _**her**_ _out_. I remember growing to _love_ and _hate_ Beacon in equal measure. As a teacher you cannot help students without creating a _bond_ with them, and yes I remember each and every one who ever died _because of me_. I remember each decision that lead to each _death_. _I_ am the one who convinced Miss Nikos to risk her life. _I_ played on her idealistic version of what a huntress should be. The same as I did to Miss Rose, both Summer and Ruby. I _manipulated_ them through their hope for a better world and their heroic spirit. I am the one who encouraged the training of Miss Summer Rose in the art of the silver eyes. A skill that requires a terrible moment of _intense trauma_ to awaken, which means that I had to _provide_ that experience. That sacrifice was too in vain because I ultimately brought about Summer Rose's demise. _I_ am the one who _convinced_ a broken father to entrust his _16 year old child_ into my care so that I could hone her skills like I had her mother's. _I did all that_. I remember it clearly as if it happened yesterday. I remember your confusion when you came into the vault with Miss Nikos. I remember how scared you were for her when she began to scream. I remember having to stop both of you from attempting to fight Cinder. It is _entirely_ my fault. _I am_ Ozma now. I was Ozymandias. I was Oswald. I was the old wizard who first created the maidens. I was the King of Vale. I was Professor Ozpin, the headmaster who looked over your fraudulent transcripts and still let you apply to my school. Even saw enough strategic skill in you to make you a leader. _That was me_. And I was Oscar the young boy who was thrown into all of this. Who bonded with all of you as the first friends he had ever had. But, that is _not_ who I am _anymore_. _I am Ozma_ , which is to say I am simultaneously _all of and none of_ the aforementioned people,"  
  
"OK, fine! It is your fault! _It is all your fault!_ Is that what you _want_ me to say? Do you want me to _hate_ you? To take out my anger on you... _again_? To punch you in the face? To throw you up against the wall by your throat?" Oscar would have flinched. He would have scrambled away from Jaune pleading not to be hurt. But this young man in front of him, didn't. This young man looked like he had accepted whatever would come or perhaps even wanted it. Thinking that he deserved whatever was coming to him. "Because I have already tried all of that and it didn't _fix_ anything! Nothing changed! Are you a shady morally corrupt man who has done _despicable_ things that I disagree with? Yes. Have I forgotten or forgiven those actions? No. But you are not the only one at fault. And I just want to be done dwelling on past hatred,"  
  
"Dwelling on the past, is really all I can do now. Besides, I have a lot to dwell on,"  
  
"You should try to live in the present. Look around you, we made it through. Salem is gone. We are rebuilding Beacon. Shouldn't you be at least a little bit happy?"  
  
"Maybe. However, everything is still tinged with despair. We made it through, but not all of us. And our victory cannot _ever_ equal out the atrocities I have committed to get this far. Salem is gone, and despite everything I will _still_ miss her. I can't help it, I think a part of Ozma... _Me_... will always love her. We are rebuilding Beacon, but I am too old to rebuild. These accursed hands cannot create anything anymore,"  
  
"No, you aren't. And that's why we are all here. We all want to rebuild Beacon, to return to the ideal you showed us in the huntsman and huntresses. To improve on the past and right the wrongs, entering a new era of light and truth instead of hidden agendas and secrecy. That's why we are all here. The Beacon reconstruction team,"  
  
"A new era? Then the old must be torn down. Me. I am old fashioned and have no place in this new era of your making,"  
  
"You're what, 16? You old geezer. You are practically still a child. I mean you're barely old enough to even enroll in your own school, Pipsqueak" Jaune gave a little teasing laugh and nudged the boy's shoulder. But then he thought a little bit and realized he didn't really know Oscar's real age. "...Wait... Seriously though how old are you?"  
  
"Truthfully, I have no idea my actual physical age,"  
  
"That's gotta be weird. Do you remember your birthday?" Oscar had never told them when that was, so Jaune couldn't remember for him.  
  
"I remember many dates that I once called my birthday. Which dates belonged to which life? No clue,"  
  
"Hey that just means you get multiple birthdays," Jaune laughed with a friendly smile. "We should celebrate them all!" Anything to make this kid feel like a kid again. A big elaborate cake and a huge party with many friends, based on what he knew about Oscar's life, he had probably never had something like that before. If he was to guess, Oscar's birthday was probably just a simple event between the birthday boy and his aunt. Jaune came from a ridiculously big family and could hardly even imagine a small quiet birthday dinner.  
  
"Another year that I am alive, is not something to celebrate," Right. It makes sense that Oz would think that way.  
  
After an uncomfortable and sad silence, Oscar spoke again. "Well, my age is a moot point anyway," he was changing the subject and Jaune gladly let him. "I am sad to say but I do not think Beacon is enrolling many students as of late,"  
  
"No, but she will be soon. And I bet by then her headmaster will feel better and be ready for his task too,"  
  
"There may indeed be some truth to that, Legend has it that the king and his realm are intimately intertwined. So much so that the land reflects the ruler and vice versa. Not that I was ever much of a king,"  
  
"Well, I wouldn't really know, I was never very good at history. You can ask Professor Oobleck,"  
  
"Dr. As he is always insistent on being called," he gave a little chuckle and shook his head. "Anyway history class is not always the most _accurate_ representation of the past. Take it from someone who has lived through multiple rewrites of his own story, history is written by the winners and is entirely dependent on which label has the ability to persist and not so much on true events,"  
  
"So what I am hearing is that the headmaster himself is telling me not to pay attention in history class?"  
  
There was an actual genuine laugh. "Oh dust no!" He said through his laughter and then pretended to be horrified. "Glynda will have my head!"  
  
"Ms. Goodwitch was always mad at you, wasn't she?" Jaune said remembering that Glynda Goodwitch had once called Ozpin just as immature as his students.  
  
"Yes... But she wasn't the only one,"  
  
"Yeah... But she trusted you too,"  
  
"Many have made that mistake,"  
  
"Y'know I never saw you as this much of a downer. At Beacon you seemed well...loose, carefree, at home," Professor Ozpin was an odd eccentric man who acted like a student himself and never seemed to take anything too seriously. Much to the chagrin of those around him, at times.  
  
"Then you left beacon, and your perception changed, did it not?"  
  
"Well yeah, after the Fall you seemed cruel, cold, and collected," After Pyrrha, Jaune reevaluated Ozpin and began to think that the carefree friendly rapport was all a ploy.  
  
Which it was.  
  
A plan to gain their trust and support that he needed. A calculated _manipulation_.  
  
The idea that Oz would act that aloof and odd to put the students at ease, so they would see him as someone who understood them or they could confide in, wasn't exactly wrong.  
  
"Both were essentially lies," Yeah, and here was the man himself confirming that it was all fake.  
  
"So the truth is just never ending depression?"  
  
"The truth is I am tired. Just so very tired. I am so tired, Jaune. I am so old,"  
  
"I know. But we've reached the end, Oscar. Finally it's all over. And soon Beacon will be back. Our school and home will be restored,"  
  
"Home, huh?"  
  
"Of course. For you more than anyone,"  
  
"Home...I should visit my aunt. Tell her...Who I am. That her nephew is... _gone_ ,"  
  
"You're not gone, Oscar,"  
  
"I know. You guys are constantly telling me that,"  
  
"Yeah, and maybe you should listen,"  
  
"Perhaps..."  
  
"Oscar,"  
  
"You guys always call me that too," He sounded confused. Like he didn't understand the name. It was something unfamiliar to him.  
  
"Of course, it's who you are,"  
  
"I know not who I am,"  
  
"That's why you have your friends to remind you. You're Oscar and Oz,"  
  
"And you are alright with that? You are willing to associate with a _disgustingly_ _corrupt_ old man such as myself?"  
Just like before he had become Oz, he was so worried that his friends would hate him once he was no longer the same.  
  
"Alright with that?" _Alright_ with his friend fading away into whoever this was, this strange mixture? _Alright_ with the things Ozpin has done? _Alright_ with the way any of this has turned out? _No_ , of course not. How could he be? "No truthfully I am not. But if this is your way of asking if I am going to desert you, same answer no. We are still friends, little buddy. Is our relationship _way_ more _convoluted_ now, of course. But I meant what I said I am here for you Oscar,"  
  
"I have heard many a person swear that they will turn not, that they would desert me not, that they would remain by my side always. Forgive my being skeptical,"  
  
"Yeah, and how many of these people did you tell the _truth_ to? The whole truth? Most of the truth? _Any_ of the truth?"  
  
His shameful silence answered that question.  
  
"Yeah I thought so. Trust must be given in order to be earned, Oz and you have lived too much of your lives behind the curtain,"

"Yes,... you are right. Again, despite knowing how little my word is worth, I apologize,"  
  
"You know I _can't_ forgive you, but I understand that you are trying to do better. I think that is the Oscar Pine in you,"  
  
"Perhaps, I must admit I do not know,"  
  
"We could always use the name Yang gave you Oz-car,"  
  
He gave a shaky laugh, "I suppose it is an improvement over the moniker Miss Valkyrie gave me: 'little cute boy Oz'," he looked embarrassed and made a face. "As well as the other...um...Uh...Well... far less than flattering things Miss Xiaolong has called me,"  
  
"What about what Ruby calls you?"  
  
He flushed. "That's...uh...another matter entirely... It's...highly improper to...Talk about... I mean...She is... Uh...Ruby is...I...she helps ground me I... Feel more like Oscar...Around her... She's sweet," He had a dopey grin on his face. "And...kind and... Cool...and amazing...And...Beau...um..uh" then he seemed to realize what he was saying. "and...That is to say she's...I mean me and her..." He was now trying and failing to conduct damage control. "I don't know what you are ...implying. It's too weird... Even if she is..." It was so refreshing to hear the nervous babbling of an awkward teenaged boy come from Oscar's mouth again.  
  
Jaune burst out laughing. "So you do have a crush on her?" Jaune was channeling a bit of his conspiratory older sisters. He had never been on this side of the 'oooh, you liiiiike heeeeer' game.  
  
He knew it. The way Oscar used to look at her. The few times he knew that the two had been all alone. The way he would get all embarrassed and awkward around her at times. The way he still gets all embarrassed and awkward, apparently. Nice to know somethings don't change.  
  
"No!" He put his hands out trying to furiously deny what was only becoming increasingly obvious. "I mean... I...kinda... maybe... not really but also kinda...Ugh!" He tried to cover his bright red face with his hands. " ... But I... taught her. I taught her parents! I" Now he was flinging his arms around in frustration and confusion. "...I don't know what you are talking about. At all. Nope. No. I mean and then there's what Qrow... Would do to me... And Yang... And even Tai...Oh dust, no. No! No! No! It's too weird. It would be too weird for her... it would be weird for me...We ...I can't do that ...Nuh uh," He was wringing his hands in nervous energy. Gone was the calm and collected headmaster and now he was a young boy confronted with his first crush. His face was about as red as Ruby's cloak.  
  
"Calm down I'm only teasing, although it's nice to hear you drop, the 'headmaster-y talk'. Do you do that on purpose?"  
  
"I... Uh... Don't really... Know. I mean I have all these superfluous and pretentious vocabulary words and ancient grammar patterns crammed into my head and I... Just kinda ...use them?"  
  
"Yeah, we've noticed. It makes you sound like an old grandpa,"  
  
"Yeah well after the brothers know how many lives lived, I think I can be pardoned for sounding like a bit of a pensioner," he said defensively, before ending in a very childish pout.  
  
"That's what I'm talking about. Who uses the words pardoned and pensioner?"  
  
"I do. You impertinent whippersnapper!"  
  
"Are you joking or did you actually just use the most cliched old person phrase?"  
  
"Yes, it was said merely in jest, "  
  
"OK, seriously I have no idea whether or not you are doing that on purpose,"  
  
He smiled a crooked smile. Oz had always had a warped sense of humor, and Jaune wouldn't be too surprised if Oscar inherited his love of messing with people. "Allow me to assuage you and let you know that I am not,"  
  
"So, you are?"  
  
"Perchance, I may have in a barn been reared, but I will suffer not the insult of having to speak like it,"  
  
"Try speaking like someone from this century,"  
  
"Oh prithee, naught one of the words I used were discontinued from the average lexicon earlier than the past hundred years. Thenceforth, this century. Would you rather that I could switch languages entirely,"  
  
Yeah he was having entirely too much fun. Teasing Jaune back. Acting like an immature jerk.  
  
But even now, it was more like Ozpin's brand of immaturity rather than Oscar's.  
  
"No that's OK. I can barely understand you now. And you are one hundred percent speaking using those old words on purpose,"  
  
"Presently, to indulge in the vulgarity and uncouth manner of speaking you would understand, duh,"  
  
"Has anyone ever told you, that you can be a bit of a pretentious ass?"  
  
That in of itself was way more Ozpin. Oscar was a sweet kid and while he could be snarky at times and enjoyed back and forth jokes, he wasn't quite as much of a jerk about it as Oz.  
  
"They oft ad nauseam repeat it,"  
  
"You are having fun with this aren't you?"  
  
"Mayhaps, am I allowed not to derive any small means of entertainment out of my situation?"  
  
"No, in fact it's nice to see you not so... depressed. But by the brothers are you a troll,"  
  
"Ahh, Yes. I would be lying if I denied that claim. I always have been. Or Ozma has always been, dust you should have had to deal with him on a daily basis. In your _freaking head_! I don't know how I put up with myself..." Then he seemed to realize what he just said. "Aaaand other crazy sentences that have become all too common. Ugh...Natheless, I was not kidding about just kinda ...slipping into an older dialect in a completely desultory fashion,"  
  
"Huh, so you just randomly drop really old words into normal conversations. Doesn't that get kinda annoying?"  
  
"Most definitely. Although personally I believe that the vocabulary change is not what has me sounding like, as you so aptly put it, a pretentious ass. No, I think it is the old grammar patterns, strange word ordering, and the way everything I say is so full of flowery language that is way more isolating,"  
  
"Honestly, I think that if you'd just use a couple more contractions, you wouldn't sound so old timey"  
  
"Truthfully, I did not even realize that I was avoiding contractions. I was not doing that consciously at least. Strange,"  
  
"You didn't realize?"  
  
"No, I...I did not.. uh didn't,"  
  
"Crazy old man,"  
  
"Yeah, I suppose in a way I am, I am almost afraid to know what else I have been subconsciously doing different. There is undoubtedly a lot... This is going to be my whole life now, isn't it? I will forever be questioning my identity until I die, and then either finally be free or start the whole nightmarishly strenuous process all over again,"  
  
Jaune decided to change the subject.  
  
"Hey, do you want to watch the sunrise with us?"  
  
"What?" Oscar was thoroughly taken aback by the abrupt question.  
  
"Well... I was just thinking that you would probably be able to see a beautiful sunrise over the hill of Beacon tower. And I wanna get up super early and see it, I am going to invite the others too. We made it through and all that, we should take a moment to bask in the sunrise, y'know new era and all that. Sunrise means a new beginning,"  
  
"Yeah, it is a beautiful view from... my office," It was still broken down and held to many painful memories, but maybe that open space might be a place where they could make some new memories. "I would love to see the sunrise again,"  
  
Now that sounded like Oscar.  
  
But Jaune had to be sure.  
  
"You sure? I know you must have seen a million, and getting up early is a hassle so I understand if you don't want to,"  
  
"No, I ...have not seen that many, actually. I never really liked the sunrise, plus I am not the one you need to worry about getting up late, that I do believe is Miss Ro...uh Ruby. "  
  
"Yeah, so are you coming? I mean you said you didn't really like sunrises,"  
  
"No, I ...do...n...didn't like them. But, you are right. We made it through. I think tomorrow's sunrise is going to be the most beautiful thing imaginable, a new beginning. Can someone like me get a new beginning?"  
  
"So you don't hate the sunrise?"  
  
"No, no... I... do not...Uh...Don't...Oh... oh. Thanks Jaune,"  
  
"No problem, little buddy,"  
  
"I can not believe that you are this insistent in staying with me, I deserve it not...uh...don't deserve it,"  
  
"We are all could use a friend, even you,"  
  
"Through my experience, friends are just enemies you have not yet made,"  
  
"That's an awful way of looking at it,"  
  
"Yeah well, Oscar grew up alone in the middle of nowhere and Oz has had too many people turn on him. I have never been very good at friendship,"  
  
"You have us,"  
  
"Yeah, the first friends Oscar ever made. But even our relationship is riddled with hatred and betrayal,"  
  
"You're doing it again, dwelling on the past. Remember to move forward too,"  
  
"Well can you really blame me. It is a lot to dwell on,"  
  
"Which is why you have us to keep you in the present,"  
  
"The present is far too different from the past, it's too confusing and painful,"  
  
"Yeah somethings are _different_. That's true about everyone. _Everything is different_. I am not the same kid that lied to get into Beacon. Ruby is not the same prodigy that was moved up two years. You are not the same scared little boy who found us in mistral. _And_ you are not the same headmaster who flung us all of that cliff. We are all different. And that's OK. It's part of growing up, kid. We are not the same. _No one_ can stay the same forever, Oz. Not even an immortal wizard. You _are_ different. Oscar _and_ Oz. We are all different. Maybe a bit more broken. Maybe a bit more tired. Maybe a bit stronger. But we made it through. In one piece. _Not the same, but still us._ Oscar, you're still you,"  
  
"Thanks,"   
  
Jaune grabbed the boy and pulled him into a hug. At first he was surprised and stiff as Jaune had expected, looking and acting so much like someone who felt he didn't deserve this comfort and someone who didn't want to admit he needed it. If someone had tried to hug Professor Ozpin, and even thinking about that was _strange_ to Jaune, the old man would probably act similar.  
  
But after a bit, the young man in Jaune's arms gave into the comfort. Oscar clung to Jaune as the young child he still was, admitting that he was still _scared._ The pretense was dropped and Oscar was showing that he _did_ still need and crave this kind of comfort. So Jaune was all too ready to give it. "Any time," He ruffled the younger boy's hair and allowed the hug to last as long as Oscar needed it to.  



	2. By Any Other Name (Ruby)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Beacon Reconstruction Team had their work cut out for them. Ruby Rose had faith that things could be fixed. But part of rebuilding their lives after the fall, was confronting and fixing more than just the physical damage to Beacon Academy. So when she noticed that Oscar had slunk away, he was doing it again distancing himself from everyone else, she knew that she had to follow him.

Ruby:

* * *

  
Ruby walked into the top of the destroyed tower. 

She would _never_ forget what happened right _here_. 

Never. Ever. 

Every night, she revisited this place in her dreams. As soon as her eyes shut she became trapped reliving that awful awful night. When _everything_ came crashing down. 

But that's _not_ why Ruby is here now. 

Right now, she is wide awake and her nightmares can't touch her. There's no reason to fear. No reason to fall apart. No reason to despair. 

Now, everything is _over_. 

Everything is _fine_. 

Things are getting better. 

The gigantic Grimm dragon is gone. Along with the murderer who shattered this tower. And the woman who planned it all. 

All gone. 

War is over. _Done_. 

Those lost have been avenged. 

They can start over. 

They can rebuild. 

No, she wasn't here to dwell on what is gone. What is _over_. 

She was here for another reason. 

"So, this is where you ran off to," Ruby's voice was light and playful. She wouldn't let the past constantly drag her down. 

She will rebuild. 

Rebuild her happiness. 

Rebuild their childhood, regardless of the fact that they _couldn't_ really be called children anymore. Especially the youngest in their little group who had slunk away when he thought no one was looking. 

Well she was looking now. 

She was ready to confront problems and fix things.

After all, that's why they were here, right? 

Rebuild Beacon. And that was more just the buildings. 

There was a figure was sitting on the ledge created when the window had shattered, so close to the edge and seemingly unconcerned with the broken glass surrounding him. When she spoke to him did not move for a bit. Then he looked up. "Miss Rose...Uh...Um...Ruby, I expected not...that anyone would... come here," His eyes met hers, she had to stifle her reaction, she still needed to get used to his eyes. 

Before they were only gold when Ozpin was talking, but now?  
  
...Well they were always gold now. 

Although, they weren't completely gold.

She was so thankful for that simple fact. It was something so small, but it gave her hope that maybe through the differences there was still something that was the same. Something that she could anchor herself to. Definitive proof that Oscar wasn't completely gone. 

Oscar's eyes had always been beautifully unique. Colors swirling and mixed together. Instead of one solid color like hers or even switching back and forth from one color to another the way Yang's did. Instead his eyes always had green and brown together. 

Now gold was added. The gold didn't overwhelm the other colors, but instead harmonized with them. As if that color was always supposed to be there. The green and brown were not replaced. His eyes were still beautiful, like a blended sunset, green and brown.

...And now with gold. 

"Well, I was looking for you. Uh...Um...I wanted to see how you were. I mean this can't be easy for you,” she said awkwardly gesturing around to the ruins of their school. 

"No. It is not. Yet, I think it not easy on anyone. I appreciate your concern, but perhaps you should bestow it upon someone more... deserving," 

"Yeah, It's not easy. On anyone. But that's why we all chose to come back, to fix it,"

"Somethings cannot be fixed," He fiddled with some of the broken shards of the old window. 

"We can still try. Maybe it won't be the _same_. Maybe ...we will never really be... the same," especially him. He would never ever be the same kid she met in Mistral. "But that doesn't mean that we can't make it _better_ ,"

"How is it you are still so full of hope? How can you be always so willing to move forward? Even after everything you remain unfettered and unfaltering?"

She remembered a frightened little boy asking her how she managed. How did she do it? 

She didn't know how she felt now that he was asking again?

He sighed and then he spoke in a soft voice. His words held within them so many emotions: shame, guilt, admiration, a touch of pride, and above all a pure simple breathless wonder. "You truly are remarkable Miss Rose," 

It was really _weird_ to hear that from him. _Really really weird_. Maybe because he looked so young, even though he was older than when she first met him. He was now around sixteen or seventeen and she couldn't help think it looked good on him. Maybe because she had, against all better judgement, maybe... kind of... accidentally fallen for him... when he was just Oscar. Maybe because she didn't know who he was anymore.  
  
Maybe because of a strange combination of all of the above mentioned reasons. 

She shrugged, a little uncomfortable. She had never been good at social interactions at the best of times. "I was always told that huntresses exist to give hope to the hopeless and help out those in need. I am just doing what I swore I always would," 

"You and I both know, that even huntresses and huntsman are not at each moment sure of themselves," He gave a bitter little laugh,"You never cease to amaze me, even back at our first meeting, you told me that you only wanted to help people. Such a pure simple soul,"

 _Our first meeting?_  
  
Which meeting was he remembering? She didn't think it was the one when an awkward young boy appeared out of nowhere, escorting her drunk uncle and blurting out the first thing he noticed about her. 

_"You have silver eyes,"_

Twice he had told her that. 

Maybe it was always hard to tell who this person in front of her was. 

"Well, if you want the real truth professor," if he was going to reminisce about things that he had experienced as Oz. Then it wasn't wrong for her to talk to him like the professor, was it? He was certainly acting like Oz. It would feel _weird_ to call him Oscar when he wasn’t acting anything like the boy. "I was just a child following my mother's footsteps," 

"Yes. I know. There's naught I can do to erase the pain I caused you, but nonetheless, I am so sorry Miss Rose," 

No it _was_ wrong.  
  
For precisely the same reason. He was reminiscing about things that Ozpin experienced. He never really talked from the perspective of Oscar anymore. And if he did it was short and painful to listen to, it was as if he was describing someone else. 

It was as if he thought he was Ozpin. One hundred percent Oz. No Oscar left. Only Ozma. 

It was what he had always been so afraid of.

_"I'm going to become just another one of his lives aren't I?"_

What he had accepted. 

_"I don't know how much longer I will be me,"_

And now what he believes has already come to pass. He is acting more like Oz. He is constantly remembering the old Professor's memories. When he speaks, he talks with a more professional tone and big words that seemed so out of place when he said them. It was as if he was imitating who he thought he now had to be. 

He had fully accepted what he thought was his fate, and obediently fit into the assumed role.

Ruby didn't know how much of that was him consciously trying to sound like, act like, and take the place of Professor Ozpin. 

Or was he just doing it without thinking? 

Was he sitting with his posture perfectly straight and almost regal like, because he thought that is how Ozpin should sit or because it was actually natural and comfortable to him? 

Was he recalling moments that he shared with her as teacher and student, because he thought that is what she wanted to hear or because those are the first thoughts that come to his mind when he looks at her? 

Was he using big fancy words in an effort to sound more professional, or was that just the way he thinks now, in an old forgotten dialect with out of date expressions and grammar patterns? 

She didn't know. 

She felt the need to break him out of this mold. 

She didn't want to talk to a projection of her old headmaster. 

She wanted to talk to this young man in front of her. 

She truthfully didn't know who he was.

But he wasn't this. Hopefully. 

_Please, this can't be all that is left._

Ozpin was a complex man. There was no other way to put it. Maybe he was good maybe he was bad. Maybe he thought he was in the right. Maybe he was. Maybe he was wrong. There was a lot of uncertainty and maybes when it came to Old Professor Ozpin. But there was one thing everyone could agree on, he was a complicated man. 

Oscar seemed like a simple soul. Raised on a farm, a life lived in minimalistic bliss. A simple boy with simple childish dreams. Who saw the complicated world and tried to make it easier to understand. But Oscar too was complex. He was simultaneously learning all about the endlessly convoluted nature of the world and still grasping at a simple goal. He just wanted to help people. He would allow himself to lose everything. He would become tangled up in this mess, have his soul become tainted if it meant that this goal could be realized. 

She thought that that was beautifully heroic.

...and tragic. 

Both Ozpin and Oscar were complicated. This person in front of her was _far_ _far_ more _complicated_ than ever before. 

And yet he tried to pick one point of view to follow. And usually it was almost always Oz that he chose to be. 

Maybe this imitation of Ozpin was all that is left. A distorted reflection. A faded copy. 

Maybe...

But she _couldn't_ believe that. She _refused_ to believe that.  
  
She wanted to grab him and shake him until he dropped this pretense. This pretense that she didn't know if it was really pretend.   
  
_Don't talk to me like that!_

_Don't look at me in that way!_

_Please, please, the boy I knew can't be all gone._

"Of course not, you're your own person,"  
  
"Don't lie to him, Ruby"

He thought she was lying. 

Maybe she _was_. 

He thought that it was _impossible_ for any of Oscar to survive. 

Maybe it _was_. 

But they had always done the impossible, before. 

She needed to remind him that he is allowed to be both. 

She would tell him, "It wasn't your fault, Oscar," She knew what his answer would be. She knew that what she was saying was not strictly true. But she had to pay lip service to the hope anyway. 

He was talking to her like Ozpin. He had convinced himself, he was Ozpin right now. 

Which meant it was up to her to remind him that he is also Oscar. 

That's what he asked her to do. 

Not in so many words of course. He wouldn't have actually placed that burden on her, but she saw that every time she had reassured him that she saw Oscar, he looked a little less broken. A little less lost. A little less terrified. So she would go on gently easing his troubles, in the simplest way she could, by using his own name. 

_Do you remember this name?_

Can we talk about conversations you and I have had with you as Oscar?  
  
Do you remember, the first time you confided in me how scared you really were? Don't you know that you can still confide in me? Please, you don't have to shut me out. 

_Do you remember all of those times we spent hours trying to improve each other's fighting form?_

_Do you remember those quiet moments where you were allowed to simply be?_ Those small moments that she held in her heart, did he keep them in his? _Those wonderful moments, when there wasn't anything that we had to do, but b_ _e in the moment. See the beauty around us. Grow closer together._

"That may have been true once. But no longer, ...it is all my fault. And though it does you little good, all I have to give you in return for what I have reft from you is my guileful and loathsome apology," 

No, he wanted to talk about his time as Oz. He was so convinced that he doesn't deserve to be both. 

That he is not allowed to bring up Oscar.  
  
No, he thought that Ruby sought out Ozpin.   
  
But, she had wanted to find her friend. 

...Not her broken mentor. 

Maybe if they addressed the unspoken problems between her and Oz, then he would feel comfortable enough to let his mask, if it even _was_ a mask, slip. 

"Well...To be completely honest, that wasn't... what I hated you for, professor," 

"What? Then was it what I did to your friends?" 

_You didn't do anything._ But that wasn't true anymore. Once she could have said that and it would have made sense. Because Oscar _didn't_ commit any of Ozpin's crimes. 

Except now, he kinda had. 

Or he thought he had? Felt as if he had? Experienced himself actually carrying out each deed? She didn't really know. But she knew that it didn't really mattered _how_ it all worked. The fact is that it happened  
  
"Not really, yeah, that was...bad," that was an understatement she knew that. "But that's not it either," 

"Your uncle?"

"No,"

"Then, I must confess I know not of what offense you speak,"

Now that she was talking about it, her anger was coming back to her. The one thing she couldn't _ever_ forgive. "You gave up," 

"What?" 

"You. Or Ozpin. Or Ozma. Or whoever, because Oscar actually never did. _You. Gave. Up._ And I _can't_ forgive you for that," 

Oz gave up. Oscar didn't. Even right after the truth came out and Ozpin ran away. again. Like the _coward_ he was. Oscar still tried his best to help. He told them that they couldn't give up, and had to bear the brunt of Jaune's anger for his bravery. She still felt awful for not stopping Jaune sooner. 

"Yang hated you for lying, but I kinda get it. Dust, every time I smile and try to say everything will be OK, I feel like just as much of a _liar_ . Jaune hated you for what you did to Pyrrha, and while that wasn't OK, sometimes plans _don't work_ and people get hurt. That wasn't what made me hate you though. It was the fact that you _stopped_ trying. That you didn't even have a plan. It was the fact that you _rejected_ what I always admired about you and what you yourself taught me. _If you're not always performing at your absolute best then what reason do you give others to follow you?_ You wanted us to follow you when you were lost too, and that's not such a big deal. I mean there have been times when I had _no idea_ what to do, but my team was counting on me. We were counting on you and... _you gave up_ . You did what no huntsman, the position you created, should ever do, should ever be able to do. Because a true huntsman would know that he had to _try,_ and you _didn't_ ," 

"I did. For many many _years_ , I tried. I failed," He threw the shard off the ledge. 

"The only failure was your refusal to get back up and try again," 

"How many times would you have me _try_ with naught to accomplish, Miss Rose? How many times must I _sacrifice_ good people, much better people than me, so that I can continue to _try_ ? _How many times_ until it is pointless to try?"

"It's _never_ pointless to try!" Her anger was building up again. How dare he, this was the exact opposite of what he had always told her. What he stood up on that stage and said in front of everyone. "That's something I always thought you believed. Something _you taught me_. We _don't_ have the option of failure. We are not _allowed_ to give up. Not when we've been burdened with the _responsibility_ of the badge of a leader,"

He gave a bitter broken laugh, "How is it that you took my own lesson and learned so much more than I have managed to in all my many years?" 

Ruby shrugged. "It was still your words that taught me... I always looked up to Professor Ozpin," she sighed, sitting down on the floor next to the young man. "He was a _legend_...Mom, Qrow, Ms. Goodwitch, everyone always spoke so highly of him. He was the youngest person to become a headmaster ever and he allowed me to become one of the youngest students ever. He was what I always _wanted to be_ , I thought he was the embodiment of a _true huntsman_. And when I found out that he... _Wasn't_ . I... Couldn't help but _hate_ him," 

"I am not one you should esteem so highly," He pulled his knees up to his face, to hide again. He looked so young in that position. 

"I know. I no longer idolize Professor Ozpin,"   
  
"Good,"

"But I still admire you," 

"What? But you just said... That you don't look up to Ozpin,"

"And I don't,"  
  
"You confuse me as to what you mean Miss Rose," 

"You. There are times when I look up to you. Not Ozpin. Because you are not Ozpin. You... Oscar Pine,"

"What?!....Me?!" He yelped the calm reflection of Oz was suddenly shattered, like someone had thrown something at a mirror. "...As Oscar?... but I mean well ....why? What have I ever done to admire? You of all people...Look up to me?" He was babbling. The way she sometimes did when she was nervous. The way the boy used to when he was uncomfortable being around people. As he constantly had reminded her, he was raised in a barn and had no social skills at all. "... bbbut I'm... I'm... a nobody. At least without Oz. I mean now that I'm... him, I... kinda maybe have some reason... to exist. As one of his lives....but...I have no idea what I am doing! Everyone is always expecting me to be Oz. I am expecting myself to be Oz. I am not...I am a...Mess," he sighed trying to calm down. Then he collected his thoughts and began speaking in a disassociated way. In third person. "Oscar is a clueless child...A simple farm hand. He was never a king nor a huntsman nor a teacher he was just... a nobody. He is nothing compared to...well You. You, are incredible, kind, generous, heroic, beautif-" he cut himself off suddenly his cheeks becoming as bright as her cape. "...Um that is to say um uh. You're amazing. What is there to...Him..uh...Me?" 

She gave a little giggle. She couldn't help it, it had been so long since he said something that awkward and all over the place. So genuinely Oscar. Even if he was worryingly detached from his own sense of self. "Sorry, it's just it's been awhile since you have sounded that unsure of something," she tried to explain that she wasn't laughing at him. 

"I assure you that I have been unsure since day one," he said with a nervous chuckle. 

_Which_ day one? She didn't ask. 

"To answer your question, yes I admire you, Oscar. I admire your bravery. Your drive. Your strength of character. I admire how willing you are to help others,... Even at the cost of yourself. You, _Oscar Pine_ , are remarkable. When you first came to Haven, you were not a huntsman, you were terrified, and unprepared. _Now_ look at you,"

"Now I'm Oz,"

"That's not what I meant. You are always ready to rise to a challenge, however ridiculously complicated and horribly unfair it is. You never asked for this, but you also never rejected it," 

"What would have been the point in that? It was not like if I did reject it, renounce Oz, and run back home it would have changed anything. It was pointless to deny reality. Since the moment Oz started speaking to me, nothing would that I had done would have caused a difference,"

"You still made a choice to help people, to fight, to try and be better,"

"Was it really a choice if there was no other option?" 

"We always have another option, Oscar. And in terms of identity and who we are, it's our choices that define us,"

He looked at her slightly confused, "You are quoting me again, aren't you?"

She gave a soft giggle again. 

"I never realized that you paid so much attention when I spoke. I heard from Peter uh...Professor Port that you were a... difficult student to engage,"

"Well if you were boring like Professor Port I probably wouldn't have paid attention, but you always seemed to have all the answers,"

"I really really don't," 

"...I know,"

"...They want me to the headmaster, again. Once Beacon is put back together again. Glynda already gave me the official request from the council... I can't do this, Ruby. I just _can't_ ," 

"Sure you can. You've done it before, right?" 

He jumped up to his feet. "Look around us! and pray tell how well that fared?"

He walked over to the gigantic melted cog, that was stuck in the concrete of one of the damaged wall, he ran a hand over it. "Clock cogs. You always did have a crooked sense of humor, didn't we?" He muttered. 

Then he moved on around the room. "This was once...my office, where I confined myself and planned out students lives like a great game of chess... Herein lie the results of _my_ _headmastery,_ and still they ask me to take the throne again. I want it not! I never have wanted it! I am _not_ the one who should be in charge. I was a horrible king and an even worse headmaster. Why do they insist on following me? I have not a plan! I have not a clue what I am doing! I am not who you want to lead,"

She walked over to join him. "Sometimes the burden is placed upon you rather than you choose it. Why did you pick me to lead team RWBY? I was young. I was immature. I wasn't ready. I did nothing to earn my position,"

"On the contrary, you were the one that came up with the plan that lead your team to victory. You chose to...," here he stopped and gave an amused chuckle his eyes shining with academic pride in his student. "to slingshot yourself to the Nevermore. You were also the one who used a high vantage point to find the relics. True there would have been other ways to get higher, rather than climbing aboard the aforementioned Nevermore, but that is besides the point. You saw potential in your teammates just as I saw potential in you. Yes, you were young and inexperienced, but you were also willing to try things others would not have and you deserve a chance to learn through that responsibility," 

"So you didn't just pick me because I could laser beam Grimm with my eyeballs?"

He gave a little laugh, "as I recall at the time I picked you, you _couldn't_ ,"

"Well I think that you, _Oscar_ ," she took his hand in hers. " _deserve_ a chance to become more than just another Ozma. You brought the sincerity back to Ozpin's words. You brought back the ideal that Oz claimed to be, what I always admired about him. He gave up. But _you_ ? You refused to. He may have made mistakes, but that doesn't mean you can't be better. You can redeem him, ... _redeem yourself_. I know you never wanted or asked for this, but for what it's worth I think you will make a great headmaster. And you will be different from Ozpin, you can learn from his mistakes, and you will be able to try things he never would have,"

"I am constantly learning from my mistakes but I never seem to get any _better_ ," he pulled away from her. 

"That's not true, We won remember? Look around! This war is over, Salem is gone,"

"I know," he looked so heartbroken. And she remembered that Ozma had once loved Salem. 

How did he feel now? 

She had no clue. 

"I'm...Uh..." She sighed and awkwardly tried to comfort him. "Uh...Sorry? For your loss?" It came out as a question, because how do you comfort someone after their murderous abusive wife finally dies? 

He shook his head. "That was something a long long long time ago lost,"

"But it still hurts, right?" 

"Yes, I don't think it will ever _stop_ hurting," he said softly, he walked back to that ledge and looked out over the grounds of the school. He looked miles away, or maybe years away, from her. 

"Do...You...Or Ozma...I mean...Uh...Um. do you still...."

"Love her?" 

She nodded. 

He sighed. "That is a good question and one I am not quite able to give a solid answer to... I lov _ed_ her. I _loved_ the woman I freed. I _loved_ the woman I married. I _loved_ the mother of my children... I _hate_ d her. I _hated_ what she became. I _hated_ how she _used_ me. I _hated_ the atrocities we committed together... I _miss_ her. I think some part of me will _always love the ideal of her_ . Some part of me will always remember her as she once was and weep. Some part of me will always _miss her_ when I look to my side and find _not_ her there... But most of all, most warped and twisted of all,... I _envy_ her. I _envy_ that she never felt the torturous remorse that ate away at me. I _envy_ that she could believe one hundred percent that each action she took was necessary. And finally I _envy_ that she has found _peace_ at last. That she is free and I am here. And there is a part of me that is happy for her, she finally found what she always wanted, ultimate freedom from her miserable life," 

"Oh, do you... I mean the way you're talking...Makes me think that you... Want to...Uh...Um d.. _Die_?" He was very very close to the edge of the tower. When the glass window was there, you could see everything without ever being in danger of falling. But now...

That window had shattered. 

Leaving behind a dangerous expanse of nothing but pieces of broken glass.   
  
She didn't like how he kept coming back to that ledge. Combined with how he was talking, that was not a good sign. 

"The truth? I have been alive for _far longer_ than anyone ought, so it is only natural that my soul craves the release it has again and again been _denied,_ " 

"Oh," She wanted to pull him away from the ledge, but she didn't know how. 

"Yeah,... I just can't do this," He said slightly panicky. From where he was standing he had a clear view of Beacon. He backed away of his own accord, as if he could not bare to look at everything they were asking him to rule over. She didn't know if that was just as bad as him tempting fate on the edge or not. 

"Sure, you can,"

"Because I _have to_ , right Miss Rose? It's my _responsibility_ . And I _cannot_ ...am not _allowed_ to give up... again," he sounded so bitter. 

"Yes, partly. Partly because you have people counting on you. Partly because this is your badge you wear constantly. But also because, Oscar I _know_ you. You, Oscar Pine, are not the type to give up. If you were you would have already. You have been given every possible reason to, but you're _still_ here. Against all odds you're still here. _Why_?" 

"Because someone has to be. Because when the world is in need of help someone has to be there to reach out their hand," 

"Exactly. But Oscar you don't have to be Oz. And that means you don't have to do this alone," She took his hand again. This time he let her. "We'll all be right here. Your friends, your students, and your staff ready and willing to stand by your side,"

"Why? After _everything_ I have done. I _shouldn't_ be trusted. I shouldn't be admired. I shouldn't be in charge. Dust! I shouldn't even be _alive_ !"  
  
He was fighting her grip, now. He desperately wanted away from her. He was breaking down right within her arms and she could do nothing to stop it. 

"After everything you've done?!" She yelled and he flinched. "Let me name some of the things you've done," He looked at her with pleading eyes. 

_Please please don't._ His eyes seemed to beg. _I already know I am despicable and I don't need to see the list of atrocities I have committed._ But he made no plea out loud, he had resigned himself to whatever awful punishment he thought she would dish out. Whatever awful punishment he thought he deserved. 

She sighed. She shouldn't have yelled. But she needed his attention. 

And now she had it. 

In the way that the cornered animals full attention is on the looming predator. He was so _afraid_ of what she would say next. Caught in her grasp, no longer fighting. He went limp, no fight left in him. 

"You left your home to go and fight a war you _never_ signed up for," He looked so shocked that she was starting with that. 

"You trained your butt off when you realized that you would be called to _fight_ in said war," she was smiling now as she remembered various sparing lessons with this boy. She wondered if he was remembering them too.

"You fought despite being out of your depths and terrified, you still joined the fight," He had been breaking down at the seems, begging her for some super secret way to deal.  
  
_"How do you do it?_ _How are you okay with any of_ this?"  
  
Pleading with her, _Aren't_ _you scared?_   
  
Confiding in her, _because I am so very terrified._   
  
Seeking guidence, _How can I move forward when I am frozen by my fear?_

He was still breaking down. He was still out of his depths and terrified. But she knew him and she knew that again he wouldn't let his fear stop him from doing the right thing. 

"You dueled Professor Lionheart. You flew a freaking airship. You helped get us to Atlas," 

"You helped us win this war, we never could have done it without you," He looked like he wanted to argue, but he just let her talk. Still afraid when the other shoe would drop, and she would switch to the awful things he had done, and realized that the bad really did outweigh the good. 

"You forgave us and continued to help us even when we took our anger out on you and treated you like you weren't even a person," He looked ashamed again. Why would he feel ashamed for they awful way they treated him. It was as if he now thought that he deserves to be treated like that. 

"That's all you, Oscar," He gave a sad nod

"Yes, but that's not _all_ I have done. I am _not_ just Oscar anymore, Ruby!” He succeeded in wrenching himself free. “Stop pretending I am! Please, Stop. It just makes everything _worse_ . I know you want to see me as Oscar. I know Oscar was a good friend of yours. But that innocent boy that was free from Ozpin's despicable actions is _gone_ ,” he backed away from her and turned around so he didn't have to face her. His voice grew quieter. “I'm just what's _left_ . And my mistakes _far_ outweigh any good I may have done," 

"OK fine. Flip side, What as Oz done?"

He cringed. There it was, the other side. 

"You helped create these academies, and the ideal of huntsman and huntresses themselves," Sure, a part of the Academies had a hidden agenda, but it still lead to good things. 

"You chose to give your magic to the maidens so they could use it to help people," but in the end the maidens were targeted and the young women were destroyed.

"You trained many incredible huntresses and huntsman. You taught me what it means to be a leader," She no longer idolizes him. She no longer sees him as the one with all the answers. But Ozpin was still once her mentor. 

"You fought and gave your life to try and stop Cinder from toppling the tower," Yes, Beacon still fell. Yes, he didn't stay dead. But he still made a sacrifice for his school and his students. 

"Stop focusing on only your mistakes. Should a lifetime, multiple lifetimes, of good mean nothing because of your mistakes?"

"What about a lifetime, multiple lifetimes, of _mistakes_ ?" He sighed. "but,” he hesitantly turned to face her again. “If you say that I helped you be the young woman you are today, then I must have done _something_ good along the way, thank you Miss Ruby Rose," he blushed a bit which made her blush too. 

"And you will help others too. You said you weren't a good king, I wouldn't really know. You said you weren't a good leader, that may have some truth to it. After all you never trusted those you led. You said you weren't a good wizard, you tried to ensure your magic benefited the world but it all went wrong anyway. You said you weren't a good man, maybe, after all you have done some pretty shady things. But one thing, you _are_ a good teacher. Of that I am certain,” she stepped in. Until they were almost touching now. “And Oscar you are a _good person_ . You try so hard. But it's OK. You are _enough_ ," Without even quite realizing it she put her hand on his cheek. 

"I..." He was at a loss for words. 

Strange. When Ozpin always seemed to have something to say. 

But not that strange. When Oscar was often known for being on the quiet side. 

"It's OK," she repeated in a shaking whisper. "I can't even _imagine_ what it must be like to be you. What you had to go through. What you are _still_ going through. I can't understand all the problems you face. But, please, please. Let me _help_ you," She clung to him in a furious hug, and buried her face in his chest, he was slightly taller than her now. 

He without seeming to notice began to comfort her. He put a confused and unsure arm around her. " _Why_ do you want to help me, Ruby?"

Many reasons. Because she _cared_ about him, about Oscar. Because she felt like she _owed_ to him, after the way they treated him before. Because she saw how _broken_ he was. Because she believed that he wasn't completely _gone_ . Or she _wanted_ to believe that. Because she felt like she had to. Because it was the right thing to do. 

When she said nothing, he said softly, "Y'know helping me just because I am Oscar is kinda the same as hating me just because I am Ozpin," 

Yeah, she could understand that point. They were still being _unfair_ to this person. 

"Please stop pretending that I am just Oscar!"  
  
"I am not Ozpin! Stop treating me like I am!"

They really needed to come to terms with him being _both_ , and kind of... _neither._

He was both.  
  
Expecting him to be like Oscar was just as bad as forcing him to conform to what they thought Ozpin should act like. He really was _neither._ He still _was_ his own person. But that person was no longer who they had known. 

He was someone _new,_ she supposed. A strange mixture. 

Before Ozpin and Oscar had been like oil and water, there was still an obvious area of separation between them. Two souls inhabiting one body. Two _different_ people _acting_ together. But still clearly _different._ Two substances that retained their unique properties. 

Now, that wasn't the case. 

Now it was more like salt dissolving into water. For a bit you saw the solid salt grains settled on the bottom, obviously _different_ from the water. But over time, that salt broke down and became fully mixed in with the water. There was no trace elements left after they had dissolved, they could _never_ go back to two different substances. After a long enough time, the glass of water would almost be _indistinguishable_ from water without salt. 

That is, of course, until you took a _drink_ . And realized how much had really _changed._

Talking to him was sometimes like taking a big swig of salt water. It left her coughing, spluttering, and wishing for fresh water to quench her aching thirst. 

"Why do I want to help you?" She repeated his question softly, before deciding on an answer. "Because I think you need it,"

He gave a weak laugh, "you are not wrong, there," 

"I just want to help anyone who needs it, that's what I'm supposed to do, right?" 

"I am not sure if it is a matter of _supposed_ to,"

"But that's the right thing to do!"

"Then I would venture that it be a matter of your reasoning and your intentions. Is doing the right thing because you feel compelled, as if you have no choice but to do it, a good thing?" 

"We always have a choice,"

He gave her a proud smile, as if she had answered his question correctly. A proud teacher to his star student. " _That_ Miss Rose is what makes your actions good," his smile fell again. "...Not that I should be a consultant for any matters of morality,"   
  
"Hey, even teachers can learn from their own lessons,"

"Again, you are right. You have such maturity and insight. When did the little girl I recruited into Beacon, get so... grown up? ...Summer would be proud,"

"Well, I didn't do it alone. I had friends along the way. And so will you. Let us help you, please. You don't have to be alone,"

"Y’know you remind me so much of her,” He lifted her head up ever so slightly, the eyes that she met were shining with both joy and immense sadness. “Summer. Your mother as well as the first Summer maiden, after whom she was named. Joyful laughter, an optimistic view, and an insistence that I step outside myself and experience the world," Here he left the hug and gestured to the landscape of Beacon below.

"Well someone has to convince you to step outside. You have a tendency to shut down, to retreat and hide yourself away," That was what he was doing holed up in his office for years and years. What he did when the story of his past first came out. What he did in the legend of the Old man and the four seasons. What he was trying to do now. But she _refused_ to let him. "You can't live your life behind a curtain, separated from everything. I know you think that you don't deserve to come outside. You have been trying to imprison yourself for a while now. But please. Please. This isn't healthy. There's so much around you... And...and..and I don't care!” She told him suddenly. “I don't care if you are Ozpin or Oscar or both or neither. You cannot keep doing this to yourself! No matter who you are! You need help, and I am going to give it. Because I want to. Because I am able to. Because it's the right thing to do,"  
  
"You really don't care?"

Truthfully, she didn't _know_ if she did. 

It wasn't like caring one way or another would change anything. Well, it wouldn't change anything to her, but that simple phrase could mean the world for him. So she repeated it. 

"No. I don't care. You're _you_ . You're _still_ you. What does it matter who that is. Who you were. Who you are. Whoever _you_ want to be. All that I need to know is that you are _you_ ,"

"Whosoever that may be?" He was so hesitant of making the wrong choice. Of doing something that will cost him everything...Again. He was so scared and confused. 

"Well I suppose that depends on you. _Who_ do _you_ think you are? _Who_ do _you_ _want_ to be?" She placed the choice back in his hands. She knew a part of him just wanted to be told who he is, because he honestly didn't know, but he shouldn't have his free will taken away any more than it already has. 

" _I don't know_ ! It's just... All so confusing and so...Hard. I know who the council wants me to be. Every time Glynda or James or Peter or Bartholomew look at me, they want Ozpin. The council wants me to be headmaster again, because they think I am Ozpin..." Which would explain his efforts to be like the old man more and more, whether intentional or not.  
  
He sighed. His eyes met hers and his voice grew soft with guilt again. "I know who _you_ want me to be. I can see it in your eyes every time I do something that Oscar would not have done, you look so _heartbroken_ all over again. You want your friend back. I get it, and fault you not for that. And when I look at you I feel horrible because I _cannot_ be Oscar for you. Part of me wants to. Oh by the brothers I want to be able to just be him for you, to ensure that you never have to cry because of me, ...again. To be allowed to just enjoy our _youth_ together, but I am far too _old_ for such fantasies. I cannot make anyone happy, because they all want me to be someone else," And he was tearing himself apart trying. Because he wanted to be able to fix everything and make everyone happy, which in itself was such _an Oscar thing_ to want that it hurt her heart to think about. 

"To those who knew and trusted Oz, they want _him_ back. To those who befriended Oscar, they wish I was still _him_ . To those who hated Ozpin, they are waiting to see which one I will be more like before they transfer that _hatred_ over to me. Salem always saw the man she once loved, it mattered not to her the specifics, each new body was simply an empty vessel that _Ozma_ operated. Everyone sees me as someone else," 

"I didn't ask who everyone else saw you as. I asked who do _you_ think you are. It's _your_ life. Your _lives_ . Who do _you_ think you are?"

He looked so shocked. As if he never expected to have a say in who he is now. The _servant_ of this horrific cycle who would lose everything and have to sacrifice his own identity again and again. He never expected to be allowed to claim one for himself.  
  
He looked even more terrified. Like he didn't trust her words. He was forever wary of any and all comfort, the god of light had drilled it into his head that it would just turn to pain.  
  
Was it really any wonder that Ozpin turned out the way he did?  
  
That he refused to really trust anyone. That he chose to give up. That he destroyed himself inwardly as he tried to continue his never ending toil in vain.  
  
She wondered what it felt like for Professor Ozpin, when it happened to him. Did he conform to the expectations around him? Did he once have a different name? Who was Ozpin before he was Ozpin, before he mixed with all of Ozma's other lives. It was something that she would never know, because Oz himself probably didn't even know. She wondered if Oz had someone who had known him before his own merge, who had to go through what she was going through now.  
  
But that hardly mattered. What mattered was this boy in front of her and his own answer to the question everyone had been asking him since the very beginning, _who are you_? 

  
She hoped against all hope that he could find an answer. 

He was silent for a long while. She was afraid that he wouldn't be able to answer and then he opened his mouth. "who do _I_ think I am?" He whispered the words as if they were in a foreign language that he was trying to learn. As if he understood each word and what it meant separately, but put in that order and they lost all meaning to him.  
  
He fell silent again. 

Then finally he said a name " _Ozma_ ," then a slight pause and another name came to his lips. " _Ozymandias_ ," Then another. " _Oswald_ ," Then he took on a couple more titles. " _The Legendary Hero...The old Wizard_ ... _The Great Warrior King of Vale_ ," Another pause and finally. " _Professor Ozpin_ ..." She waited to see if he was going to say the name of the little boy he once was and wasn't too surprised that it came to him last. " _Oscar Pine_ ," he gave a sigh that seemed to contain the weight of the world itself. "And many many _others_ . I am a _combination_ of all of them. Like an old tree with different colored rings. Each one contributing to the whole. That is to say I am _all and none of them_ ,"

"I don't want to pressure you. I don't want you to feel like you have to be someone for me. And you shouldn't have to be someone for the council. Just be _you_. If you are a combination. Then be that combination,"

"Thanks... I am sorry about your friend,"

"It's OK. Just because he's not the same doesn't mean I regret the times we already shared together. Plus one friend may leave, and that will hurt, dust! does it hurt _so_ bad, but life isn't over yet and new friends will come,"

"You are a very remarkable young woman, if you... Would...No...Never mind...I cannot ask you to do that. It's not fair to you,"

"Do what?" 

"Nothing,"

"No, say what you wanted to say. I won't mind. Please what is it?"

"I...Was...Going to ask if you could do me the courtesy of....if we could...Be friends, ...start over... as _I now am_ , I mean. But... That's insensitive to you. To try to be your friend when I am so similar and different to your old friend,"

"Of course we can be friends, silly,"

"B...bb..bu..but... I am..." He was going to repeat all the nonsense reasons why she should hate him if she didn't gather up her courage to do something. So,she did what she had been wanting to do for a while now, leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek to shut him up. 

It worked. 

His mouth slammed shut. His face grew bright red and he began stuttering without words. Speechless. 

When he finally regained his voice he spluttered, " _Miss Ruby! Rose!_ That was completely... _inappropriate!_ And highly... _ill-advised_ . And...and... and... entirely _unacceptable_ and... _We can't do that..._ " He was not exactly effective as the scolding authority figure he was no doubt trying to be when his voice was cracking and squeaking like that.  
  
Also he said ' _we'_ not you, that implied that he _wanted_ to too. 

"Relax, you old fuddy-duddy It's not like it was on the _lips_ " she cut him off with a giggle. 

If anything he looked even more scandalized. "Still you are...My my... s..st.stu.. _student_..." 

"Not really. I _was_ your student. I'm not anymore. Plus you yourself said that I am all _grown up now and mature_ ," she gave him a wink, which turned his face even redder. 

"Well, you are certainly making a compelling case for me to withdraw that comment," She giggled again. 

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. I know that you are...uncomfortable with this, but I _had_ to do that. Otherwise I would hate myself even more than I _already_ do, for not having the guts to kiss you when you were _Oscar_ . I had to do that at least _once_ before we started over. Sorry,"

"Well, I suppose I rightly cannot deny you my forgiveness when you have been so freely giving of your own,"

"We can start over now. Hello, how do you do?” She wanted a way to show him that she was going to stick with him regardless of how different he was now. Maybe something she could do to meet him halfway. “uh...Greetings, My name is Ruby Rose. What's yours?" She extended her hand in a formal greeting. 

He looked at it. He gave an awkward pause as he thought about how to answer her question.

"Starting with the hard questions, huh?" He muttered under his breath. Then he shook his head as if to force himself to make up his mind. "I'm Oscar. But you can call me Oz, I don't mind,"

"Nic...uh its a pleasure to me...make your uh...um...acquaintance?...yeah acquaintance, Ozcar," she said with a little difficulty.  
  
He looked at her and raised an eyebrow but simply said. “Likewise, Miss Ruby Rose. It is an honor to be regarded as one of your friends,”  
  
“The honor is…” this was so much harder than she had thought, how did the formal phrase go again? “...in my court,”

“In your court?” He asked with an amused smile

“Yeah, I...desired-ith to try mine...uh hand.. at your..uh…thou’s old speak” I can keep up with you. No matter what. No matter how different you are. I can learn to like the taste of the salty water. It’s fine.

He laughed, “Did you now? May I inquire as to why?”

“Well, you...or thou are always uh... use..or..uh...employing it and being formal so I figured-ith I should try-ith as well, especially since first impressions are so important,”

"I suppose that makes some amount of sense. You are not just mocking me, right?”

“Of course not...it’s...how thou say-ith...all in good fun. Um...this is hard. Am...I mean...do-ith I do-ith this right?” 

“Oh, Indeed. Although, your grammar is atrocious, and the added ith to the verb is not correct in the slightest,” He began laughing even harder. 

It was nice to hear him laugh like that. 

“How do..ist thou um...uh...comune like this? old timey-ness is hard”

“Not for I. It comes rather naturally, so much so that I’m oft caught unawares,”

“Yeah, well thou are-ith a...show off...How would you say show off in olden days?”

“It is not as though I'm a dictionary, I can hardly tell which words are as you call it _‘old timey’,_ ” 

“You can't tell?”

“Well, that is not entirely accurate. I know that my lexicon has expanded. Also the extra flowery language and strange word order is hard to claim I notice not. Also there's the simplest fact of the reactions of those I am speaking with,” 

“Yeah,... it takes some getting used to. Hearing you talk like that. It's... kinda weird. You sound like an old man,” 

“I am an old man, Ruby,”

“Nay. Thou are-t still a...kid, yknow? ...a young whippersnapper, thou… running about and...uh...Under the pretense of be-ith-ing all grown up. You need to learn to live a little. Why back in my day children were allowed to be children,” She said in an exaggerated ‘old person voice’ 

“Please tell me that is not actually how I sound,” He said thoroughly embarrassed with his hands over his face. 

“No. You sound as professional and...pretentious as ever,” 

“That an improvement?” he asked. She laughed as an answer. "This is all so crazy...and ridiculous. I know not how I will ever get used to this,"  
  
"Yeah, well...just remember-ith thou are-t naught alone. I am right here with you. No matter-ith what ridiculous stuff you deal-ith with-ith-ith,...ith" She added more exaggerated and ' _not correct in the slightest'_ syllables for good measure and ended with a playful toungue sticking out at him. 

He snorted and before long he had dissolved into laughing without abandon. It wasn't the soft chuckles of Ozpin. Or the broken laughter of someone who was laughing to hide the tears. This was real laughter. It was dorky, awkward, and all over the place, just like Oscar. Childish laughter. It was music to her ears. 

After a moment of them both just laughing at the pure ridiculousness of it all. She suddenly spoke again. "I like your eyes, I don't think I have ever seen anything like them, mixed avocado-y...and gold. They're really pretty," She told him with a gentle smile. 

"Your eyes are beautiful too. It's been awhile since I have seen that shade of silver," His voice dropped to an awed whisper like he was reciting some ancient spell, "You have silver eyes, legends hereld eyes like those to be a manifestation of destiny itself that marks you for greatness,"

Ruby didn't know if she cared much for destiny. She didn't know if she liked the way he seemed to talk about her as if she were the paragon of heroism. What she once had thought Ozpin, to be. 

"To tell you the truth, I never really wanted to be special. I just wanted to be a normal girl with normal knees," 

"Yeah...To tell you the truth, neither did I really," He sighed. "Although, one thing I can say, I am thankful that destiny brought me to you," 

He really can't just say things like that, and then get all flustered and hesitant when she tries to kiss him.

It wasn't fair. 

But then not much about this situation was.

That wasn't his fault. He had enough that he felt guilty about. So she smiled through the pain in her heart. "Me too," 


	3. You've had the power all along, My dear, you just need to learn it for yourself (Glynda)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oz had a right-hand, the strict and straightforward Glynda, who would always yield to his authority even if she disagreed. Oz has had many followers, many friends, people who pledged to never leave. They all eventually turned. However, Glynda is still at Oscar's right hand and ready to help him move forward, and help him find the strength to step up and become headmaster. The confused boy doesn't understand why, even now he is shown such loyalty from someone so good. But that's OK, Professor Goodwitch is fine with taking another child under her wing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glynda! Man, was Glynda hard to write for. Also we don't know much about her past, so I took some liberties, vauge ones so they don't effect the story too much but still. I tried to incorporate different parts of Glynda's personality and balance out the no-nonsense woman with the caring teacher. Also I really needed someone to snap Oscar out of his D.I.D pity party. The previous chapters have been dwelling a little bit too much on his mistakes and depression. Which makes sense, this poor kid is messed up, but Jaune's guilty and cautious 'I don't wanna hurt you anymore than I already did' attitude and Ruby's kind 'please see the good you did and understand that there's a bright side' optimism are not what Oz needs. He needs someone to come in and say 'yes you did bad stuff, yes you did good stuff, now stop moping around there's work to do' and Glynda is perfect in that regard.

Glynda:

* * *

"You know, you do actually have to give the council an official answer," Professor Glynda Goodwitch told the boy pacing in the construction site that had once been the headmaster's office.

"I know. I cannot just let the deadline run out and force the decision through inaction, now can I?" His tone of voice made it clear that he wished he could do exactly that. 

"No, you can't. Although, that never really stopped you _before_ , now did it?" She gave this young man the same look she gave him when Ozpin was acting a bit more like a student then a headmaster. It was even stranger now that he was around the age of a student.

"No, I suppose it did not," he said with a small chuckle. "Truthfully, I have never quite understood how you abided with me,"

"Yes, well, despite your more... _eccentric_ moments. You were a good headmaster, much better than I admittedly thought you would be, being so young when you took the post,"

Glynda remembered working day and night, finally succeeding in becoming a professor for the most prestigious, Beacon Academy. Walking in expecting to face someone equal to the Great King of Vale, the first headmaster, and instead finding a very young man calling himself Ozpin.

Ozpin was the exact _opposite_ of what she had expected. He was younger than she was, not much older than some of the students.

Not much older than he was now.

 _He_ was the one who had been appointed as Headmaster?

This young man with wispy fly away white hair and a youthful and unorthodox attitude was tasked with training the next generation of heroes?

Professor Ozpin, strange spectacles on his young face and far too carefree for his own good, was practically lounging in his chair.

He didn't command respect or scream authority.

The boy facing her now didn't either. He looked so unsure of himself, wandering aimlessly around his destroyed office. Looking to all the world like a child pretending to be grown up. 

He looked like a _student_. 

But that wasn't new. He was that way when she first met him, too. 

When Glynda had first met Ozpin, she had assumed he _was_ a student.  
Perhaps he wanted to test the establishment, to see if anyone was going to stop him or if he was going to get away with sitting in the headmasters seat? Someone must have left the door open and this boy snuck in for a laugh.

She had looked around the room for the true mastermind, perhaps hiding behind a curtain somewhere.

But there was no one else.

Glynda had taken one look at him, and thought it was someone's bad idea of a _joke_.

And the more she learned, the more it sounded like it had to be a joke. A great big cosmic joke, as she slowly was allowed into the truth. As she realized that he was the predecessor of the King in more ways than one. As her initial thoughts regarding this Ozpin were one by one turned on their head. As the young man she became fond of slowly changed.

"Is that your way of encouraging me to retake the post again, despite my youth?" He asked standing by the broken window. He was always in that position looking out into the distance. Looking ahead towards the future, but never engaging. He preferred to view the world from trapped behind a pane of glass.

But now that glass had shattered.

"I cannot make the decision for you, Oz. As for my opinion on the matter, well... I will follow your judgement. You know that,"

"I wish... you trusted me not as you do. I need someone who can call me out on the things I have done,"

"I do. There have certainly been times where I have disagreed with you,"

"I know. And yet in the end you always yield to my _discernment_ ," he spat the word. "You still think it best to follow my lead?"

_Why do you even need to ask?_

But he has always struggled with hating himself. Always seeing himself as the bad guy, as a monster, and as a murderer. She remembered times when he would let his mask slip and she would see what he truly thought. They were few and far between, but they were there.

There were times when he was loud and volitile. Once when she had accidentally stumbled upon him in a broken rage with overwhelming tears streaming down his face ripping pages out of one of the school's history books cursing the name, Ozymandias the Warrior King of Vale.

Other times when he would grow so very quiet and cold, burying his face in his hands so no one could see him fall apart and refusing to engage with anyone. As if he was one of Jame's high tech Atlesian Knights that had just been switched off.

"You have enough people who want your head on a platter because of things that you can't control. I will _not_ be another,"

Another person who _turned_ on him. Another Leo who had no faith in victory against such an enemy.

Another person who _doubted_ and spoke of trust without showing it. Another James glaring menacingly out into the distance questioning Ozpin's every move.

Another one of the people who were too quick to judge the man because he was _not_ the infallible god, they wanted him to be.

Glynda knew that she had to remind herself that he was just as capable of failure as the rest of them, and despite his experiences he was still only human. She _must_ remember the moments of vulnerability and see that even the great and powerful Oz cannot control everything.

"I make my judgements based on my own thoughts and experiences," Not on the biased history books, embellished fairy tales, or long forgotten past lives. But on the man she knew. The man she had trusted for years. "and you have never steered me wrong before. While I may not _agree_ with everything you've done and I don't _understand_ all your reasons. I do _trust_ them,"

"And if my dissenters are right? And my head deserves to be on the platter? What then? How can you claim that I have never steered you wrong? Look around us! Look at Beacon! My school that I failed to protect! Look at the students, the children, I destroyed! And yet you trust me still? Why?!"

"Yes I still trust you. Have you made mistakes, of course. I won't hesitate to tell you when I don't agree with you. You awarded recklessness and called it bravery, all the while preaching caution and patience. Ruby Rose was too young. Jaune Arc never should have been enrolled with his forged transcripts. Pyrrha Nikos, while exceptional, was not ready. You grew desperate, Oz. And that desperation can make even the wisest amoung us... short sighted,"

"Yes, well how is a coward supposed to understand true bravery," he said with a bitter laugh.

"I don't think you are a coward, Sir, far from it,"

"Then you have payed precious little attention. The only thing I could do for millennia, through out all of my wretched lives, was _run_ and _hide_. Plan from the shadows. And _watch_ as I send others to _fight_ , and _die_ for, _my_ wars. What label does such a man deserve apart from the most dastardly of all cravens and _cowards_!"

"As I recall, you were there taking a stand in the final battle. Just as you took a stand at the Fall of Beacon. And the Battle of Haven. And the Great War. The warrior king of everything who was as powerful and courageous as our history books say. The legendary headmaster who seemed to have a semblance that could control time itself. The young boy who fought alongside huntresses and huntsman regardless of his lack of trainings. Do these men sound like cowards? I don't believe that by becoming more like them you became a coward. You weren't one when I knew you once,"

There were many things that you could call Ozpin. Many praises people could and _have_ given him. Many curses could and _have_ been thrown at him. Many things that you could call him that were compliments and many things that were not the most flattering. Many things that you could accuse him of being.

But a _coward_ wasn't one of them.

"I at times forget that you have known me more than once. I am the _third_ version of him, you have met, right?"

"Yes. I knew Ozpin _before_ he was Ozpin. Then I spent years with him as he was _after_. Then Beacon fell, and Oz...You fell and I lost you all over again. Only for you to return, as I knew you would, _different_. Even younger. Even more broken and lost... What are you doing to yourself?"

"I hardly even know," he sighed.

"So is this it then? Are you just giving up?"

"Glynda, I have long long since given up,"

"Then _why_ are you here?"

"What?"

" _Why_ are you here? If you really gave up, if you really don't think you can go back to being the headmaster, and if you really think we'd all be better off without you. Why are you still here? Did you just come to wallow in self pity? Are you simply going through the motions of some ancient dance you have long since forgotten? Did you come to pay your last respects to your school before saying farewell? Did you come to try and pass on the position to someone else, and to pick a suitable replacement?"

"I...Uh...I do not ...really know,"

"Well it sounds like to me, that once you solve that problem you will get your answer as to what you should do next,"

"What do you think I should do? I know you can not, and _will_ _not_ , make the decision _for_ me. But what is your counsel, I know you have one. I know you will follow my lead, but please Glynda, old friend, I beseech your help for I know not what to do,"

The little boy, and he really was just a boy again, looked at her so lost and confused.

This boy was not ready, he didn't look like he could lead anyone. He knew that. She knew that. But she also knew that he will have to find a way to do so _anyway_.

And he knew that too.

So why did he ask her?

If he was looking for someone who would take pity on him and coddle and make things _easier,_ because he was a child, then he was asking the wrong person.

He would know better than that.

She was _never_ one to make it easier or straight up give someone the answers. They had to work for it. They have to find it out for themselves. Even her students, especially her students. She would never treat them as if they were incapable of something. She abhorred the phrase ' _I can't_ ' and would push them to their breaking point. Not unkindly, but in a way many might consider a bit harsh.

No one got a free ride, _ever_.

He knew that.

"Oz. You have been the headmaster of Beacon since you built the school. In that time I know you made your fair amount of mistakes, but the huntsman and huntresses who graduated under your guidance have been some of the best. You worked tirelessly to uphold the ideals that you founded Vale on. Beacon has been your _home_ for a long time now. And honestly Sir, I am a little surprised that you think you can leave Beacon behind so easily,"

"It is a question not of abandoning her, but of allowing someone more worthy to lead Beacon. I am _not_ cut out for this, Glynda,"

_Perhaps not now. But you will be._

"If you weren't then you wouldn't be...well _you_ ,"

He began to laugh, "Whose to say I _am_? Who even am I?"

"That's another question that I can't answer _for_ you,"

"I know,"

"You're so young. It must be hard to try and fulfill everyone's expectations. You've always tried so hard to please everyone. Always playing the wise old soul who has everything under control and understands everything,"

"When the truth is that there is naught anything I understand,"

"...I know,"

"How..." The young boy looked like he was on the verge of a panic attack. " Am I supposed to be... _Oz. Me_." He was breathing so rapidly. "I _cannot_ do this. I...I... _Don't_...want this. I have _never_... wanted this. I _can't_ do this...I...I" He stopped, as if someone had hit the pause button on their scroll. He turned slowly to look at her, "I... I've had this exact conversation with you _before_... Haven't I?"

"Yes. You also seem to constantly doubt yourself, despite how many times you go through this. You can do this. You are cut out for this. You've done it _before_ , you can do it _again_. I never knew the child that you once were," She had met this boy after he was already Oz. In a way she was glad that she did. She didn't want to go through the mess of knowing the before the merge identity and having to watch it change. _Not again_. "but I do know that the reincarnation process operates on like minded souls. Which means that you, Mr. Pine, must have been brave, selfless, intelligent, hopeful, willing to help, and above all filled with a desire to make things better, otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation,"

"Is that how you saw...Ozpin?"

"Yes,"

"But that is not me. Either of me. _Any_ of me. I was... am...a _brainless_ _heartless_ _coward_. A corrupt selfish old charlatan who has lost all semblance of hope, whose efforts to help only backfire, and who sacrifices good men, woman, and children to my futile cause,"

"I am well aware of what you are, Oz. You are a liar and a trick. A con man and a fraud. You are weak and broken. That is indeed true, although it's not the whole story. You have fooled yourself that this is all you are and all you can ever be. But do you really think life is that black and white?"

"What, are you suggesting that I am simultaneously _both_ brave and cowardly? Noble and corrupt? Selfless and selfish? Hopeful and broken by despair?"

"Well aren't you simultaneously _both_ Professor Ozpin and the young Mr. Oscar Pine?"

He gave a weak chuckle, "I suppose that assessment fair,"

"You're always too hard on yourself. You _don't_ need to be _perfect_ , you _don't_ need to be _infallible_ , and you certainly don't need to destroy yourself over every single mistake. Just do _your best_ , who knows your best might even surprise yourself, you're capable of _more_ than you know, "

"Considering how little I actually know myself, that is almost ascertained,"

"...It's OK to _not_ _know everything_. To not have all the answers. In fact teachers sometimes have more to learn than their students. If you teach correctly, you will find yourself learning. You taught me that. When I came in, back to my old school, for my interview believing I knew everything. I was going to give back to my community, become a teacher, and impart my knowledge to the next generation. I didn't expect to meet _you_. And I certainly didn't expect you to be...The way you were. I certainly didn't expect you to tell me that I had so much _more_ to learn, and that was why you were going to hire me. Not because of how much I knew, but because of how much you knew I _didn't_ know. You were right, as usual. Teaching opened my eyes in a way that nothing else could. I began to see not just what I was teaching, but what my students were learning. Sometimes when you yourself are lost one of the best things you can do is try and help someone else find their way,"

"The blind leading the blind?"

"In fairytales and legends isn't it often the blind that can see better than most?"

"Believe not everything you hear in fairytales," Oh, how ironic.

"A wise old man once told me every story is true,"

"A wizened old dotard to be sure," he muttered.

"Perhaps, but he still changed the course of my life for good. Diverting it as his words rippled and the mountains themselves seemed to tremble. Words that showed me definitive proof that magic still exists in this world,"

"Yes, my argent tongue has besotted the public. The flowery words, that I seem to be unable to stop speaking with, dripping from my lips sound pleasing but they are just as hollow and empty as I am myself,"

"Empty or not your words teach, inspire, and change people,"

"I wish people would stop beholding me. I deserve not anyone's admiration,"

"We don't always understand _how_ we effect others; the effects of a wind of the sea that pulls a distant ship off it's mooring. We don't always have the ability to see the circle that we make, how we can rewrite someone else's tale. Regardless of whether or not you _think_ you deserve it, you do have people who hold you in high regard because your words _have_ changed them. You certainly changed me,"

"You still neglected to answered my question. _Why_ do you place such trust in me? _Why_ would you follow someone so... _Broken_ , so... _loathsome_ , so... _wont to err_? You deserve _better_. Beacon deserves _better_. The whole of Remnant deserves _better_ than... _me._ So _why_? For what reason have you not just _forsaken me_ already!?"

"Because you're the one we _have_!"

That shut him up. He understood having no other choice, all to well.

"Would we rather _someone else_? Are their _better_ choices? Do we truly _deserve_ someone else? Would we be _better_ _off_ if we renounced you, and rejected your help? Are their times when we _wish_ it wasn't up to _you_?" She could see that her words were hurting him, as she confirmed his worst thoughts.

She spared him the torment of hearing her answers to those questions, besides, "It doesn't _matter_. _You_ are what we _have_. What is the good of complaining about the hand we are delt? Of _wishing_ for a different leader? Complaints don't change facts," she gave him a hard look. "And you... _Like it or not_ , _want_ it or not, think you're _worthy_ or not, _are_ the one we have to lead us. There was once a time when you were _willing_ to lead us, whether or not you thought you were ready or not, you took the post because you knew we needed _someone_. And I _refuse_ to believe _for one single solitary second_ , Oz, that you are not _still_ the kind of person who will always step up when there's a need," that was always a constant throughout all his lives. Whether or not it was driven by guilt and shame or altruism didn't really matter much. "This cancerous _self pity_ needs to _stop_ , I will not _tolerate_ this _nonsense_ for one more second!"

It was time for him to come to terms with what he is. She wasn't going to allow him to keep doing this. He didn't get to _act_ like this.

He looked like she had just slapped him.

Perhaps she should feel a little guilty for being too harsh with someone so _broken_.

But...

She would _not_ treat him like a helpless child regardless of whether or not he acted like one. Regardless of how young he was.

Was that cruel? She didn't know.

But if he was looking for someone who would commiserate with him and wallow in despair, he would not have gone to _her_.

"I'm sorry truly sorry about all of this, young man, but it's time for you to grow up. To accept reality. _You're not perfect_! You never have been and you never will be. You can _not_ please everyone. You will _never_ be able to grant every impossible desire people come to you with. You will _never_ live up to the legendary godlike wizard people expect you to be. Perhaps how _you_ even expect yourself to be. But that has never mattered in the slightest. _You don't need to be_. You don't even need to be _good_. Or _honest_. Or exactly like Professor Ozpin was in the past. Or like the legendary Warrior King of Vale. The only thing you need to be is _there for those who need you_. Can. You. Do. That?"

"That's it?"

"That's it. Now can you, young as you are, broken as you are, scared as you are, and corrupt as you are, can you still do _that_?"

His answer was as unchanged as ever. The scared little boy, now had such steel in his mismatched eyes. "Yes,"

That was it. A clear direct answer. No meandering about with 'I think so' or 'maybe' or even the more honorable but still slightly weak, 'I'll try,'. Instead of any of those unsure responses, he proved again the type of person he was with a direct vow.

Yes. I can. Yes. I will. 

That was the man she knew. 

The one who knew what had to be done and did it. Yes. 

That was not the response from a coward. Or a child. That was the answer a leader, a commander, a king gave.

So she will await his command.

And she will follow his lead. 

"Then as always, you have my respect and my loyalty,"

"That simple?"

Here she was the one to give him an amused smile, _you know the answer to that already, Oz. It's always been that simple. And every time you forget, we will go through this test oncemore and as always you will pass and realize that it really is that simple._

"Of course, Mr. Pine. I never expected anything more or less. I think you will make a fine headmaster, Sir,"

He smiled. Her harsh words were what he needed to hear. As he had said before he needs someone to call out his actions.

"Thank you, Glynda. For everything,"

"My pleasure, Sir. Now shall I inform the council you have made up your mind or would you like to?"

"I should probably do it myself. After all I have to show my resolve is mine own. Plus, I should probably get used to...Or more like reaccustomed to the workings of bruacracy. I know, I am going to hate the administration part,"

"You always did. But, yes that's probably for the best. They will already see you as less than competent due to your age,"

"As if I had not devised the very council in which they sit, along with the very kingdom of Vale, they would do well to remember that,"

"They never do,"

"I know," he sighed. "And I suspect they never will,"

"No never, not until the moon is put back together," She said the age old phrase.

He gave a small chuckle and finished the adage."The gods return and all the lost wandering souls find rest," he sighed. "Although I suppose it is just one soul now. Just me. For better or worse,"

"For the _better_ , Oz. There's still much to be done,"

"Of course. There always is,"


	4. Nothing is ever "Just Right" (Yang)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is over right? Happily ever after. Everything is fixed. Better. Good as new. Just right. Right? Then why is there still a cloud of dread hanging over them? She really didn't want to do this, but Yang knew that it had to be addressed. This man only caused pain and confusion, that's all he could do. And if someone didn't do something, Yang couldn't help but think that Ozpin might cause some new horror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am back. I have been super busy lately and this chapter was proving to be especially difficult to write. Yang is an interesting character in serious situations and to have her face off with Ozcar was interesting. It took me forever to get the feel of their conversation right, and honestly I am still not sure that it's right. Hopefully neither of them come across as too out of character, even if they are both sounding a little different from their cannon selves. I have never had a chance to give our bombshell blonde the type of introspection she deserves and delve into the nuances of her character, it was fun to go beyond the puns, anger, and confidence we usually see. Also I had Yang's anger and harsh words fuel some of Oscar's own, because I figure regardless of how patient both Oz and Oscar are sometimes he has to snap. It also helped me differentiate this chapter between the others. Sure he still has some self loathing and self destructive tendencies but I don't think he would let Yang repeatedly abuse him like that, without at least some bite back. Anyway I hope this interpretation turns out well. Thanks to everyone who has read, left kudos, and/or commented. Who should I do next? (Btw, Qrow is coming his chapter just is taking a while.)

Yang:

* * *

Yang didn't really want to do this.

but she _had_ to. She had to make sure that Ruby was ok. That nothing was going to hurt her little sister. 

Nothing including this.

This had already hurt her.

Yang knew that.

Ruby was heartbroken. She could see it plainly written on her sister's face, despite how hard Ruby still tried to stay optimistic. She was hurting, even through her smiles and insistence that everything is fine.

And still she was toying with even more heartbreak. Which meant it is up to Yang to ensure that nothing worse happens.

This is why Yang cornered the young boy. This wasn't going to be pretty. "We need to talk," 

"Miss Xiaolong!? What is it that you need?" He asked uncertainly. He was always a little wary of her, his strange golden swatched eyes studied her with mistrustful caution,not that she blamed him. 

It was hard to control her anger when she stopped to think about what he did. Well...He as Ozpin.

But Jaune was right, what he said in Argus, they couldn't really trust Oscar, either.

Truthfully they probably never should have trusted the young boy, in the first place. It was one of the reasons that Yang never really interacted much with Oscar, of course the same couldn't be said for Ruby, which is why this whole problem exists.

Now what Jaune had been talking about, warning them about, had come to pass. "We need to talk," she repeated. Her fists were clenched and she hoped her eyes weren't red, but she wouldn't be surprised if they were.

"Alright. What about?"

"My Sister,"

His strange eyes widened. "Oh,"

"Yeah. Oh. ...Well?" She looked at him. Demanding an answer.

But when had Ozpin ever given up any answers _willingly_. When had he ever given any _truthful_ answers. And when had it ever been an answer anyone _liked_.

"I um...Uh..." His face burned as red as Ruby's cloak. As red as Yang's flashing eyes.

"Nothing to say?" He could at least have the decency to face what he did. Although that too wasn't how Ozpin operated. No, the old coward was far much better at evading and excusing his actions.

He sighed and lowered his head in shamful defeat. "What would you have me say? Miss Xiaolong?" 

"How 'bout you start at the beginning, Prof. Pipsqueak," the teasing name did nothing to lighten her tone or the tension between them.

"At the beginning? I guess you mean not the... very very...um...beginning of the beginning. Rather...Uh...More the um...uh beginning of our... Situation?" He babbled nervously.

"Duh. I've already heard the beginning beginning. Don't need the recap," 

"Of course. Well there is still precious few things I can tell you. We were young. Innocent. Heedless of experience. I...Uh... Oscar...well his first experience with friends his own age was in that house in Mistral. Miss Rose is...A remarkable young woman. She was always so kind and sweet, everyone else kept their distance because of who I was to be,"

Yeah. They left him secluded and alone as punishment for who he would be.

But she couldn't let herself feel guilty for that.

There was a lot going on.

They couldn't risk trusting him.

They didn't know exactly what could happen.

All these hypocritical and useless excuses came to her, and Yang clung to them to ease her guilt. 

"but not Ruby..." He continued.

There lies their whole problem. Ruby _didn't_ keep her distance. Ruby did _trust_ him. Ruby did get to _know_ him.

And what had that gotten her?

Pain. Heartbreak. _Betrayal_.

"so pure and ...innocent.... steadfast and... brave...beauti...I need not tell you all of this. You already know," He was speaking in an unsure almost dreamlike manner when he described Ruby. Something he cared deeply about, but could never have. The same hushed wonder people used to talk about a sunrise or the night sky.

Beautiful and breathtaking but so far out of reach.

Yeah, Yang knew how wonderful her sister was, how kind. How she tries to lift everyone up. She could understand why a little boy so alone would gravitate to Ruby.

He continued after a while. "I... Made the mistake of well... What young boy wouldn't develop a bit of a... Harmless... crush,"

"Harmless?" Yang's anger sparked again. How dare he say that. 

"No, not harmless," he amended quickly. "No, Of course not. It _should_ have been. But nothing ever is... Not for _me_. I tried to stop it...Oz approved not. I...uh...He...would go on and on about how Ill-advised this whole thing was. How nothing good would come of it. But he wouldn't listen, I can be... quite stubborn at times. And well so much of... Oscar's life and childhood was already gone, stolen,...no longer _mine_. So couldn't I have this one thing, a feeling never shared, moments never lost, a sweet selfish innocent crush..."

But the feelings _were_ shared.

And then Ruby's own sweet and innocent crush began.

Had the circumstances been different Yang would be overjoyed for her sister. She would've teased and riled them both up about their painfully obvious and sickly adorable _childish_ crush. Maybe had things been different he would have been just right for her sister. Maybe he could have made Ruby smile and laugh instead of cry. Maybe he could have gotten Yang's seal of approval. Maybe this lonely boy could have fit in with their family. 

But maybes didn't matter. 

No, things had to be this way.

His voice changed to something bitter. "I ought to have known better. Known I couldn't. I ought to have remembered what happens when I try to be selfish. Naught of good ever came from my heart, it was the catalyst for all our problems since long before the beginning. I must follow it not nor allow it to dictate my actions, not when I remember the _consequences_ those actions carry," he sighed a shaking shattered sigh. And looked up as if wishing to see something that could help him in the ceiling. Nothing was there. 

He looked so _pitiful_.

So young.

So old.

So _broken_.

He continued after a bit in a grieving voice. "But ...I was a goner anyway. Oscar was going to fade away, and...to essentially... _die,_ lose everything that made him... _Me._.. _him?_... Therefore he was desperate and reckless. I... hurt her so much, and I asked her to be with someone on their _deathbed_ , who's days were already numbered. It was not fair... to either of them. But, honestly Oscar thought that when I...he became...Me, the problem would fade away with him,"

"And did it?" Yang asked fearing she already knew the answer.

"No. It didn't. Even as I am now, I still... but I ...I can't. I know that. We can not. It's too weird...Too uncomfortable..." He squirmed as he thought about that. Then he lifted a hand up to his cheek in a strange mixture of awe and horror he spoke again, "Y'know she kissed me recently. It was perfectly innocent, on the cheek even, but it was still... Inappropriate. I understand that. I understand your anger. I broke her heart,"

"Yes. You did. And you're on your way to break it again," Because poor Ruby was still trying to be with Oscar, even after Oscar was gone.

Gone. Dead. Different. Changed. However you wanted to put it. He had still _abandoned_ her sister.

"I know,"

"And that's it? That's all you have to say!?" He always made it so hard to keep her temper.

"What else is there to say? I... I never thought... Would have imagined that...She would... Reciprocate my feelings,"

"Really?" She scoffed. "Then you don't know much about her if you think that your whole _tragic hero_ who is willing to give up everything to help people and pledge himself to the _ideal of the huntsman_ wasn't going to attract her. She's always been looking for a _fairytale_. And unfortunately for us you're a living breathing one, just her type,"

"Fairytales do not oft have true happy endings,"

"Try telling that to Ruby,"

"I did. She listened not. She does not wish to see that. She said it is the job of huntsman and huntresses to make the happy endings. That basically serves as confirmation, she is not going to stop, just merely because something is ill-advised and has the potential for disaster. Ruby refuses to keep a guard over her heart,"

"Yeah, she's always been like that. It drove our dad crazy," Yang sighed.

"I imagine so,"

Yang was always in the midst of things. She had fooled around before. She was flirty and unafraid of attention, but she could handle herself. Her dad knew that, he didn't coddle Yang, because it was the last thing she needed. He didn't try and stop her or prevent her from making her own choices and causing her own trouble. 

Yang needed hard truths and harder knocks, she needed her dad to sweep her feet out from under her to show her that her stance was unstable.

Yang was always looking for trouble, and when she found it then it was sink or swim. 

Yang faced things head on.

But Ruby?

Ruby was never a social butterfly. In fact usually Ruby had to be encouraged to go out and make friends. She had opened up at Beacon, working on her good-natured but pretty awkward attempts to meet new people. A trait that often times endeared her to people, a trait that she shared with the lonely little farm hand.

Ruby also went looking for trouble. She enjoyed the idea of being a hero who saved others from it. Ruby was the kind of person who ran after a crazy dust criminal in the middle of the night, with no thought for how that was going to turn out. 

But Ruby was still so young and innocent. She was naïve and idealistic.

She had to be protected.

Yang knew that, of course, Ruby could take care of herself just as well as she could, maybe even better with her silver eyes, but the tendency to shelter the little girl and make sure nothing bad ever happened was still strong. To throw herself at anything that tried to hurt her little sister, because what was the point of being strong enough to take a hit if she couldn't stop every single one that threatened her friends and family.

Yang knew that their father felt similar, probably heightened because of the unspoken fact that Ruby looked so much like Summer.

Lately though, Yang hasn't been strong enough to stop all the bad things in the world. It became so much more _difficult_ then jumping into a fight with an Ursa and tearing it to shreds.

How can she keep her promise to always keep all the fears away?

She couldn't punch grief, despair, and heartbreak into flames.

She _wasn't_ invincible.

She _wasn't_ unbreakable.

She could take any hit that came her way and dish it back tenfold, but sooner or later something would hit her _harder_ than she could handle.

She wasn't able to always be there.

She let Ruby leave for Mistral on her own, she had put her own emotions before her little sister. She had done what she swore she would never do.

Yang had left Ruby _alone_.

Sure, she came back. But just because someone comes back doesn't mean that the pain of them leaving was gone. It still happened.

Ruby had been so fragile when she saw her again, babbling, unsure of herself, and apologizing even though it was Yang that had made her feel that way. Then with one hug everything was fixed, right?

That's probably how Ruby saw it, she never had the tendency to dwell on emotions. Ruby liked to believe that everything can be fixed and the solutions can be simple and easy.

But that is _not_ how life works.

It's complicated.

It's stupid.

It's painful, and sometimes bad things just happen for no reason with no solution.

Sometimes... things... _don't_ just work out...

people... _don't_ come back.

Yang felt the similar anger and despair that she felt when she first saw her new arm.

Problem reaction solution.

Problem, her arm is gone.

Reaction, you can learn from your mistakes. And just _get over it_.

Solution, new arm. Just that simple brand new, like nothing had ever happened.

But it had.

And replacing something wasn't always the same as healing or fixing it.

She would be lying to herself if she said that it was fixed. But to everyone around her, it was. No different. It's fine. It's all better. Good as new. 

What a _joke_.

Ruby had the same outlook to life, though. She had tried to convince herself that this replacement boy is enough for her heart. It's fine.

No different. It's all better. And Yang knew it was killing her inside. So Yang had to protect her. From this clear and present danger, something she knew would only lead to more tears and pain.

"You're _breaking_ her heart," she repeated. How many times must she tell him that? How could he claim to care about Ruby, when he knew he was hurting her, but did _nothing_ to stop it? Ruby wasn't unbreakable either. Ruby's heart certainly isn't unbreakable, but that didn't stop Ruby from being reckless with it or him from trying his damnedest to break it.

"I know. Every time she looks at me, I cause her more pain. I break her heart continuously over and over again. But _what_ can I do? She will not keep her distance. She will not proceed with caution. She refuses to listen to all of the many reasons that this is a bad idea. I am well aware of what is happening. But there is naught I can do,"

"You could stop,"

"You know that it is not that simple,"

"Yeah," she sighed. "Nothing ever is when it comes to you, is it?" She asked with unresolved bitterness.

"No, afraid not,"

"Of course not," she muttered and then her face darkened again offsetting her red eyes. "Why are you even still here?" She asked frustrated.

He looked startled at the accusatory question, "I beg your pardon?... What...do you... mean?"

"Your little job is over. Salem is gone. Your war has finished. So why are you still here? There's no more reason for you to want or need child soldiers. There's no more need for your secret plans and meddling. What more do you want from us? Why can't you just leave us alone?"

He flinched. "You make it sound like Beacon was only ever meant to trick students to join my cause," She knew she was being unfair. Yang knew that he was not as _evil_ as she made him sound.

 _Flawed_ , yes.

 _Broken_ , yes.

 _Responsible for despicable actions_ , yes.

But _evil_ , could she really call him that?

Jaune had called him their _enemy_ before, and she had agreed. 

After all what else do you call someone who started this whole mess? 

And now? After everything was finished. Everyone was slowly healing and things were being fixed? Yang couldn't help looking at him as the symbol for everything that had happened. 

How can they move forward with him there like a dark cloud hanging over everyone reminding them of the terrible times. 

They had enough reminders. She clutched her metal unfeeling hand in her flesh and blood grip, the stark difference even more noticeable then usual. 

But he did at the very least _regret_ it, didnt he? Does the fact that he hates himself about as much as they hated him, perhaps even _more_ , mean anything?

He tried.

It didn't make what happened any better, but it was unfair to treat him as if he was _purposely_ malevolent.

She also didn't really care. Couldn't quite bring herself to care about his feelings. Did that make her despicable?

She had never really been so enamored with the old professor to begin with. Not like Ruby had idolized him for being a model huntsman and taken him as a mentor figure. Not like Wiess who saw the political side of things and admired him for being a prodigy. Not even like Blake, who had a slight soft spot for his strives he had made towards Faunus equality. No he was just the head kooky professor, in charge of other kooky professors, who would turn a blind eye to their rule breaking.

She had also thought something was a little...Off... About him, even back from the first time she met him.

Turns out she was right. 

Then there was the Goliath in the room. He wasn't really _completely_ Ozpin.

She didn't know how it worked. Hell, she doubted _he_ knew how it worked. But somewhere within him were the remnants of a little kid who had nothing to do with this.

Yang had never really interacted much with the boy. It was easier not to. 

If she had, then it would have made this all the more awful. And they had always knew that this was coming. So what was the point. 

It didn't matter.

It didn't matter who was technically in control. 

It didn't matter if the boy facing her now was more Oscar or more Ozpin. 

She didn't want to dissect his behavior and try and match what little she knew about the youngest member of their little rag tag team with what she saw now. 

She didn't care. At the end of the day this person, whoever the hell he was, would only cause more problems, more pain and more confusion. And that was something that they all had had enough of. "Wasn't it? Haven't you always selected an ' _exceptional team_ ' that you would drag into your mess. Like you did with our team and team STRQ before us,"

"I...that is to say...I mean..In a very rudimentary way I suppose... you are ...correct, but ...there is more to it than that,"

"Save it, I'm not interested in your excuses,"

"...Understandable," He sighed. "To provide you with an answer, my task is still as of yet incomplete. That is why I remain here. I must continue to watch over Remnant and guide humanity to an era of peace and harmony,"

"Yeah, right. We don't need you," Yang twisted those words like a dagger to the back. Four little words that would rob him of what little certainty he had regarding his identity. Who was Ozpin when his war was over, when his students had moved on, and when even his immortal enemy had left him behind. What was left of this useless shell of a human being when he was no longer needed? "We can do this on our own. We have managed on our own, before. _Without you_ or anyone else,"

"There... may indeed be some... truth to that. You were able to do what I could never do in all my years of trying," he looked away in shame.

"And we can do it again. We don't need your help anymore, _Professor_ ," she spat the honorific as further reminder that he no longer deserved the title. "You are a powerful warrior, I'll give you that, and with that magic you did help us in battle. But as far as you being our teacher, or gods forbid our leader, you lost that right a long time ago,"

He blinked in the way people do when they are trying to stop themselves from tearing up. "I know," he sounded miserable. "But I do hope to make amends,"

Yang couldn't help a scoff. "We already tried that, remember? We _tried_ to work with you, agreed no more lies or half truths, tried to listen and follow your schemes. And what happened? You still held things back, you still lied to our faces, and your plans resulted in nothing but a bigger mess!"

His misery and self pity suddenly switched to his own anger. "That is not accurate, Yang, you know it is not! I know it's not! Forget not that I was there. You _never_ really tried! Do not try and pretend like you did. Sure, you grudgingly allowed me in the same room, when you weren't glaring at me and barely holding yourself back from attacking. Sure, you went through the motions and followed the steps I laid out. But you _never_ tried to work together, you never tried to understand, and you never reciprocated that desire for trust. You wanted me to spill everything, even things you had no right to know, and never offered anything in return. At every turn you treated us with distain, distrust, and hatred. You resented one and belittled the other,"

Yes, they were terrible.

"Yeah, well. Can you blame us?"

But so was he.

"A part of me can. The part of me that was there, that endured your attacks, and served as your target can," his anger deflated. "And yet the rest of me knows that I am just as despicable as you claim, almost more so, so I suppose that your hatred is justified,"

Yang had calmed down a bit too, enough to see she was doing it again, kicking this pitiful man when he was already down, making a little boy fight back tears. She sighed, "look,...O..Oscar,..." She made a conscious effort to call him by that name. It was far too easy to think of him as only Oz. "..I don't...completely hate you kid, but... guess any apologies to Oscar would fall flat now, huh?"

"Indeed," he managed in a voice choked with a broken mixture of anger and sorrow.

"Still I am sorry this happened to you, you're not a bad kid, but..." She trailed off, it was her turn to be unsure and awkward. Yang apologized for the circumstances, but not for anything she had said or done. I'm sorry this happened to you. But she refused to take responsibility.

"But I am a bad man?" He finished for her.

"You're Ozpin," Yang said as if that explained everything.

"Yes, I am,"

"You've done so much,"

"Yes, I have,"

"You're a despicable lying b*stard. All you've done is hide and mislead, and manipulate"

Yes get angry again. After all anger was easier to deal with.

It always was.

When her mom left, she became angry and stubborn, because anger was easier than wondering why she was so _unwanted_.

When she lost her arm, she got angry and lashed out and shut down, because depression and anger was easier than _acceptance_.

When Blake ran, she got angry, because anger was easier than reopening up those wounds of being _left behind_. Anger was easier than worry about what might become of her friend, when she knew that the White Fang was still out there and Adam was still after Blake. Anger was easier than the aching pain of _needing_ all her friends, and partner, safe and together.

When she first found out about Ozpin's little game of chess, she got angry because anger was easier to deal with than the existential crisis that was acknowledging gods and magic were real. Anger was easier than facing the _fear_ that came to her when she thought of a master of the Grimm. Anger was easier to deal with than the _confusion_ of what to do next.

When they heard Ozpin's origin from Jin, she got angry, because anger was easier to deal with the conflicted _pity_ she felt for both tragic lovers. Anger was easier to deal with then the realization that all of humanity had been _wiped of the face of the planet_ before and it could happen again. Anger was easier than the overwhelming _terror_ that their enemy was unkillable and unable to be stopped.

"Yes, I deny not that you are correct. However, there come times when some lies are necessary. Not like you yourself can talk. I can sense Spring on you. You have been doing your own bit of hidding and misleading," He retaliated to her anger.

She was momentarily speechless. Yang was not expecting to be called out for that. Certainly not by the king of liars himself.

And now when Ozpin threw her hypocrisy in her face, she got angry again, because anger was easier to deal with then her own _guilt_ for what she did to this boy. Anger was easier than facing the facts that she was just as _terrible_. Anger was easier than the hard hard road that would lead to healing and reconciliation. Anger was easier than her uncertain fear and worry for her sister.

Anger was easier.

So as usual Yang Xiaolong picked anger.

"Yeah, I did. Why? Because I _don't_ trust you! Because I knew you were still going behind our backs! Because the last thing I wanted to do was hear another _lie_! Have to play my part in another pointless and doomed to fail scheme! Have another person claim that it was for my own good that they were deciding things for me!" She had been holding back her explosive anger only ever letting it flair up and then die down but now, she was letting him have it. "You know what?! We were _glad_ when you left! Ran away like the _disgusting coward_ you are and _abandoned us_. And guess what?! We were still able to make it through. _Without you_ , without your plans and your _oh so important 'ancient wisdom_ '! We didn't need you then! And we don't need you now! So, why the hell did you even come _back_?! We were fine on our own, and it's not like you were much help when you were there. We were better off without you! No one wanted you back! So why didn't you just stay _gone_? Hell, I bet even Oscar was glad that you were gone. Even he never wanted you back,"

The look on that young face was nothing short of _terrifying_. He looked _murderous_.

She had pushed and pushed and something had to give. And something did, something snapped in his expression. "Now that truly is crossing a line," he said in a low furiously quiet voice.

His voice was soft but _terrible_. "Don't you _dare_ try to tell me how _I_ felt. I get enough of that. What right do you have to presume you know what it was like for me? I barely know myself!" He stopped and stared her down, he had gotten taller since he was fourteen and now could just about meet her head on.

Yang was well acquainted with anger, and the different types. While she burned too hot and explosive like a burst of a firecracker, it seemed that Oz favored the too cold anger that slowly seeps into everything like frost suffocating a flower.

It was not a pleasant look on this young and usually innocent looking face. She could see now the shadow of the Vengeful Warrior King of Vale as he held the Relic of Destruction in his hand and the desire to whield it in his eyes. She had seen magic now and knew what this boy was capable of.

She had pushed to far. She had never imagined that either Oscar or Oz could react this way.

She guessed it did make sense, though.

Sooner or later all that abuse would lead to the rupture of something _dark_.

They all knew Oz had faced trauma after trauma, that's not something that leaves the mind unscarred.

Oz the great and _terrible_.

He continued in that soft voice that felt like it should shake the ground. His expression and tone of voice froze over into a numb emotionless kind of calm that sent shivers down Yang's spine. "Hate me all you like. I deserve that. I conceed to that. I understand that. I fault you not for that. I am to be hated. By everyone. By even _myself_. Yes, I am aware of that," he did not say that in remorse or in sorrow or in anger.

He just said it. It was a fact.

"But," now the anger was building breaking through the ice of numb. "don't you _dare_ try and tell me lies about events I was privy to. You say you _tried_ to work with me? When exactly did you try? Were you _trying_ when you took your anger out on me...as Oscar?... And for your information, I would've wanted Oz back purely for the reason that he was the only one I could trust to not treat me like a pariah and an enemy. You all made it crystal clear that _Oz was the only one who could ever care about Oscar_ ,"

The tension was building in his words as he continued to list the personal slights they were responsible for. "Were you _trying_ when we forced him to relive all that trauma? What _right_ did you have to those memories? What _right_ did you have to _demand_ every moment of our lifetimes to be played out before you? And after that when those still healing wounds were forcibly opened again, you were _so understanding,_ so ready to _try_ , as you attacked me again for something that wasn't even my fault!"

The next words were spoken so quietly Yang almost didn't hear them and she certainly wished she didn't. "I had just watched the woman I love drive herself mad and make attempt after attempt on her own life. My children die and turn to dust by said woman's hand and my own help, I never really wanted to know who struck the final blow in that fight... Now I do, thanks to you. I had just relived all my _mistakes_ , all my _failures_ , and all my _deaths_ over again. Do you have any idea what that was like? What that might do to someone? Do you even _care_?"

His voice was louder now and getting louder as his composure was weakening. "You have _no idea_ what it was like for me! What it's like to _be me._ And then I shut myself out and I was left so _so...alone_. You have no idea what it is like to _lose a piece of yourself_! A part of you is _gone_. _Stolen_. Locked away. And nothing makes sense. Have you ever had yourself _ripped in half_!? Have you ever had your own soul try and reject itself!? Do not tell me you tried Miss Yang Xiaolong, because even I myself am long tired of being lied to!"

His tirade seemed over. He had been holding that back for a long time. Patiently taking everything they threw at him without a word of defense. When all along this was probably what he was really thinking.

Makes sense. After all, how could he not be effected by it all.

The impassive armor seemed to finally have cracked.

What could Yang even say in response to that? She couldn't meet his anger, not this time. She no longer felt as justified in her hatred.

But what could she do?

Apologize?

To him? The one who had committed atrocities after atrocities?

For all of that? How?

"You're right," she finally said softly. Yang Xiaolong was backing down for once instead of escalating the problem.

It was for the best, an escalation would have done no one any good. So she did what she had seen others try and do for her, deescalate. Weiss had usually gotten her to calm down by agreeing, so that's the first step.

She felt like a child. She could hear her father telling her when she was little to calm down.

She always was prone to tantrums.

Tai continued to guide her through the process. _Take a deep breath. Then admit what you did was wrong_. "You're right. We didn't try to understand. We didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't want to fix things. I just wanted you gone,"

"Yes. You made that abundantly clear," his voice still held bitter anger.

 _Next step apologize. C'mon Sunshine, say you're sorry._ Her father's voice told her in her memories.

She couldn't.

Skip that step.

_Next step promise to do better._

She couldn't.

"I still want you gone," she admitted.

"... Understandable. Considering everything," he said with a tired sigh. "I also refrain from lying now, and tell you even a part of me wishes I _was_ gone. It would be better for everyone, would it not?"

She doubted he wanted her answer to that. 

Of course it would. 

Skip that step.

 _Next step do something for the person you wronged to make it up to them._ "But, considering... Well. I mean. Look we are all here to fix things and get used to how they are now, and well..."

 _Why? Do I have to do something. They started it_. Her four year old self wined in tandum with her adult self thoughts.

 _If you don't take the step towards fixing something it will stay broken even with an apology. You're my little sunflower you can do it I know you can_.

That was Summer's nickname for her. Summer's voice.

And while Summer's voice only made her hate Oz more, she knew that once again the only woman who deserved the title of mom from Yang, was right.

Fine.

"You agreed to be the headmaster again?" She asked trying to change the subject.

"Yes. I didn't build this school purely because of Salem. After all she may have declared herself the master of Grimm, but they neither began nor ended with her. This school, and all the huntsman academies, were meant to help humanity combat the creatures of Grimm. To help you realise that they can be faught. That even if magic has been denied to your race there are still traces of it within your souls and these small semblances of power can be enough to protect what you love. I also constructed them to be a uniting force for the people of Remnant, hopefully to help put an end to the wars between kingdoms,"

"good intentions don't change anything,"

"Of course not. As the saying goes the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I am not trying to excuse myself in my wrong doings. I am merely hoping to make amends,"

"Amends, huh?" That still sounded impossible. How can something like this be fixed? 

"Rebuild Beacon. Do what I can despite the knowledge that naught can absolve me of what I have done. Work towards a better brighter future, that is all I have ever desired,"

"Yeah, well. I did agree to be on the Beacon Reconstruction team to help with the first thing. And I became a huntress to help with the second. So while...I don't think...I _know_ I can _never_ trust you... _Never_... _forgive_ you. Maybe it's time to put my lien where my mouth is and try to understand,"

"Really?"

"I guess. I mean you're still a kid. Can't be all bad, and you're still growing. We forget that sometimes,"

"As do I,"

"We've been doing it again. Seeing you as just Oz instead of Oz and Oscar...Ozcar,"

"It's OK. I'm getting used to it," he mumbled.

"That's a terrible thing for you to get used to. Sorry."

There she said it. She said she was sorry.

"It's OK," he repeated softly.

"No it's not,"

"Mayhaps, but there is naught we can do,"

"Try?" Yang offered.

"Yes. I suppose you are right. And I will try to do better. Be better than I was before,"

"Yeah, that's something we can all do"

"I am sorry for everything I put you and your friends and family through," It was his turn to apologize.

Even if she could never forgive him. "Yeah, well we weren't exactly blameless either,"

"No, you were not," Oz agreed."I...Do...Care about Ruby. I wish... I want not to hurt her,"

"Yeah, well you are," 

"Yes. I know. I am sorry. I can only cause pain it seems. You are right to want me gone,"

"Hey you should get some points for trying right?"

"Perhaps, but what is the use of trying? Trying is not an outcome,"

"Yknow, Ruby believes in the importance of trying," Yang said.

"I know. She told me the other day that it is never pointless to try and you only truly fail when you refuse to try again," he had that soft gentle smile on his face again, whenever he talked about Ruby he looked so much happier, so much younger, and so much more at ease.

He had said it was a foolish childish crush, one that he thought he would grow out of. And yet he smiled like that whenever he thought of her sister.

It began to sink like a rock in her stomach, the thought that maybe it wasn't just a crush.

And try as she might Yang couldn't help but feel even worse.

Everything was a mess.

It was too hard to fix it. Too easy to make it worse. 

Too easy to lie. Too hard to tell the truth.

Too hard to know what to do. Too easy to lash out.

Too easy to give up. Too hard to try. 

Nothing was all right. 

And Yang suspected that nothing would be alright for awhile. She needed to get better at taking the good with the bad and stop wishing for the perfect just right solution. 

This world was never going to be _just right_. 


	5. The Crimes which had their source in Me (Blake)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blake Belladonna was not one to accept help easily. When Ozpin had offered her someone to talk to if she ever needed it, she refused. So what happens when she takes a chance and accepts? Because she might really need someone to talk to about everything that happened. Someone who might understand these conflicted emotions that comes when she thinks back to an old friend who had lost his way. Someone who also understands what it's like to be a coward who wants nothing more but to run away. But she knows she can't. She can't run, she needs to face her demons, even if they are now only in her head, and who knows maybe she can help someone else face their own demons along the way. (Aka Blake and Ozcar compare notes about abusive crazy exes and being loners)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm Back! And so is RWBY, lol! 
> 
> Volume 7 is off to a good start, and so far nothing from canon has come to completely obliterate my headcanons...Yet. Anyhow... I'm not sure how long I will keep this fic going once we really start getting into the swing of volume 7, because I do like to keep my stuff at least canon adjacent. That being said here's Blake's Chapter... Thanks so much for all the reads, kudos, and comments. I'm so glad you like my little therapy sessions for fictional characters. Blake's chapter comes as per request from Grumpycat503 who pointed out the similarities between the two characters, thanks for the ideas. This was really hard to get just right, because I ended up trying to fill in little blank spots that canon left, so this chapter also came out a bit like a highlight reel of Blake and Adam's not so great relationship. Hopefully I didn't get any of the characters too OOC, however Blake is really hard to gauge about what's in character for her and Adam is... Controversial. I tried to stick mostly to canon Adam, throwing a little bit of my interpretation and fanon in the mix. And then of course there's my almost entirely fanon version of Oscar back with another self loathing crisis.
> 
> Thanks again for taking the time to read and comment. Hope you guys like it.

Blake:

"Can we talk?" Blake asked the young boy when she had gotten up the strength to. 

"Ms. Belladonna?" He seemed surprised to see her there. Makes sense, she had never really been close to him...neither Oscar nor Ozpin. 

But.

"You once said if there was ever something... I needed, I could always come talk to you about anything," Blake had remembered turning him down, turning everyone down over and over. She wasn't one who allowed herself to be helped easily. 

"Certainly, I just am surprised that you are taking me up on my offer... Considering...Your friends and teammates have all been quite... _Insistent_ on how I am no longer your headmaster, and more importantly no longer trusted,"

"You mean Yang has," 

The boy winced slightly, "Miss Xiaolong was definitely...Um uh... more _vocal_. But she was not the only one,"

"You may not be our headmaster anymore, but you still have some wisdom and insight. We shouldn't ignore a lesson just because of where it comes from; huntsman and huntressess should learn from even their enemies,"

There was an awkward pause.

"Not that I'm implying you are our enemy," She added belatedly. 

"It's alright, I understand. Besides, even if you were, you would not be the first, nor likely as not the last," he said like it was unavoidable and unchangeable...Which it probably was. "So," He adjusted himself, perhaps in an effort to seem older or more professional, and straightened his posture. He tried to dispell the dark mood, or at the very least pretend like it didn't effect him. "what is it that you need?"

"It's about... Salem," At that name something changed in his face. Too many expressions for her to understand going by far too fast. The expression he ended on was...indecipherable. 

"Oh? What about her?" His voice gave no insight to how he was feeling, it was too level, too calm, too _controlled_. Oscar had certainly gotten _much_ better at bottling up his emotions, and hiding... Ozpin's influence. 

"...You and Salem..., you once...cared about eachother, right?" He met her eyes and waited for what felt like hours of silence. 

Then finally he dropped his gaze to the floor and answered. "...Yes," 

"You once were partners fighting for the same cause. A cause you thought was just, right?"

"... Yes,"

"You watched as she did more and more things that _crossed the line_. Until you realized that the person you once knew was completely _gone_ ," 

Suddenly Blake could see _someone else_ standing in front of her, as she became lost in an old memory, the blood on his sword matching the burning red of his aura.

"It was self defense Blake, we were lucky to get out alive," the masked man tried to reassure her. 

"I know. It's just..." Why hadn't she fought him more? Spoken out against what they were doing? And she prided herself on standing up for what she believes in...But she had never really been brave enough to voice her misgivings. Maybe if she had he wouldn't... have strayed so far. Now, she would never know what could have been, all because she was too much of a coward.

"Look sometimes it's either _us_ or _them_ ," perhaps if she had seen his face, and the pure _hatred_ in his eyes, especially the one too scared to work properly, she might not have believed his lies about it not being purposeful. 

"I know," She remembered giving in like the coward she is. 

"... Yes," The young boy responded to her question, bringing Blake back to the present. 

"You tried to escape. You ran and tried to get away but she always dragged you back in, along with innocent bystanders," she wasn't sure if she was really talking about _Oz_ anymore.

People that had nothing to do with this fight still paid the price.

"What about the crew members?" The people who were just innocents doing their jobs. What had happened to them? Because of the White Fang? Because of _her_?

"What about _them_?" Her partner had asked proving just how lost this young man had become. 

"...Yes," but Oz was still responding. 

"You realized that you had to stop her... And... In the end, you watched as she...died. Knowing the blood was on your hands,"

The broken half of Gambol Shroud plunged into her once friend's chest. The other part stabbed into his back. 

How appropriate.

The weapon that he had helped Blake create. 

It's either _us_ or _them_. 

And when it was no longer the same ' _us_ ' or the same ' _them_ ', that sentiment still held true.  
When he had said that she never could've imagined being on opposite sides. But overtime, ' _us_ ' had changed and was no longer the White Fang. ' _us_ ' was no longer all the Faunus race. ' _Us_ ' ' _Our people_ ' Those we care about...Adam only ever cared about himself. 

No, he _had_ cared once. Which was one of the reasons it hurt so bad. 

' _Them_ '. ' _Them_ ' the oppressors. ' _Them_ ' the humans who beat, tortured, and made Faunus life hell. ' _T_ _hem'_ , the _enemy_ , the whole human species that Adam had declared everlasting war against.

"They can't get away with this! Blake! It won't ever stop. Do I need to remind you what people like _them_ do to people like _us_?" He tore off his mask and pulled her to him making her look him in the eyes, both of them. He always used his own scars to gain the upperhand, because she couldn't argue with them. He was only acting malicious because _they_ made him that way, it was justified, it was righteous retribution for everything _they_ had ever done,...right? 

"But we're becoming just as _bad_ as _them_ ," She shut her eyes tight, she couldn't bear to see Adams mark. 

"It's about teaching them a lesson! They won't respect _us_ , until we make _them_!" He shook her, in his desperation he was gripping too tight. It hurt but he didn't mean it...Right? 

"This isn't right,"

"So _leave_ then," He shoved her away disgusted. She eventually would... but not at that time. She wished she did really leave on that night. " _Give up_ on our cause. _Run away._ Roll over and take it like the _filthy animal_ they think you are! ...Like your father. But I won't. I _refuse_ to give up on _us_ , _our people_ , not until we get what we _deserve_ and they get theirs. Sienna is right. We were too soft. They call us monsters, beasts, savages, "

"We're proving them right," she whispered, almost like she afraid to say it aloud. 

"Good. Maybe then _they_ will realize that _they_ can't treat _us_ like this. An eye for an eye! _They_ will come to regret every injury they ever inflicted on _us_. We won't ever get _their_ respect, so let them _fear_ _us_..." His rabid spiteful anger died down and left the desperate and scarred young man that she couldn't help but sympathize with.

"We're getting results. Far more than your father's peaceful protests and signs ever were....I know you know that" He softly stepped forward towards her again and soon he was pressing her against him. In a soft embrace that reminded her that he cares about her. Her oldest friend was always going to be there for her. "...I don't like it anymore than you..." He murmured. "But, sometimes we have to use extreme measures. You know that. Don't go, we _need_ you Blake.. _.I_ need you,"

She didn't know why she had stayed. How she was so easily swayed. 

"...Yes," Ozpin answered again, his own expression cloudy, as if he was also reliving the past.

"She was awful. She did _horrible_ things. Some of which you _helped_ her do. You _hated_ her. You felt like no matter where you went or what you did, she would be there. You felt like she tainted you. _Marked_ you. That no matter what you did there was always a part of you that belonged to her, because she had _stolen_ it," She definitely wasn't talking about _Salem and Oz_ anymore. 

Blake remembered every moment. Made all the worse through the passage of time. Every time she was alone with her once trusted partner.

Partner in crime. Literally. 

Every mission. Every fight won with perfect unity; they had been such an effective team. Every training activity. Every scouting mission. Every outpost that had become brief homes. Every time they touched. Held hands. She leaned on his shoulder. Comforted one another. Every wound tended. Every lull in-between every battle, when they had sat together in quiet company. When he would interrupt her reading by gently stroking behind her ears. 

It made her feel _sick_ , now. As if every place he had ever touched was as _blood soaked_ as her hands felt. 

Remembering the good times _hurt_. 

She remembered bad times too, though. The moments of subtle words that slowly tore her down, now easily visible under the guise of building her up.

Adam had gotten inside her head and made her doubt herself.

"Blake how could you say that? You think I _wanted_ the mission to go that badly? I did what _had_ to be done,"

"You had to _kill_ him?"

"Would you rather I did _nothing_ and just let him shoot you?" 

Adam had fueled her doubt for her family. He was there when her father stepped down. He had encouraged her not to follow her parents, but instead to spite them, and pledge herself to the New White Fang's cause. 

"I know it's hard Blake, I don't want to do this either...But if we don't who will. Think of _our people_. They _need_ the White Fang, your father knew that when he created it," _before he deserted it_ went unspoken. 

"Don't talk about my father," She had run from Managarie for a reason. She had taken Sienna up on her offer to be posted outside the kingdoms. Off their stupid little consolation prize of a home. She had loved Managarie, despite its flaws, but she saw that life as a representation of _complacency_ to the way things were. 

"Blake, He...Was a good man. But...He wasn't willing to do what needs to be done... I'm sure Sienna meant...no disrespect when she took over,"

"I know. I just can't believe he would be so cowardly. He gave up," A complacency and peaceful submission that her father had seemed to be supporting. A reason she had raged and yelled and finally _denounced_ her family. She had told her father she didn't want to be his daughter anymore, that she was _ashamed_ to be affiliated with the _declawed, toothless, and demosticated Chiefton_.

Now she was so ashamed for ever thinking that. She had been the coward. Foolish and headstrong and unable to see the people around her for what they were...What they were becoming. What she had the potential to become. 

"He didn't approve of our new tactics. I know you can understand that,"

"I'm _not_ leaving. I'm _not_ like my father," So she had stayed silent despite the fact that she really _didn't_ approve of the White Fang's new tactics. But...they were working, she couldn't deny that. "I _won't_ leave _our people_ when they need me," _unlike him_ went unspoken. 

"I know you won't. You are not that kind of person,"

What kind of person was she really? 

He had fostered a doubt of every single human. All the more impactfull on a young girl who had grown up on Managarie, humanity had become a boogyman as prolific as the creatures of Grimm. She had only ever seen the bad side; the scars humanity left on her friends and her people, if she had let herself she would have turned out just as blinded by hatred as Adam. 

"Do you ever wonder when our work will really be done?"

"What?"

"We are making progress. I heard that the Headmaster of Heaven is a faunus. Heaven, Beacon, Slade, and even Atlas Academy accept faunus students,"

"Yeah... And yet ever been to Mistral? They still have _human only_ establishments...Vale? Where they have declared us official _terrorists_ , Atlas? Don't even get me started on the ' _approved jobs_ ' and ' _unapproved jobs_ ' ...Vacuou? The kingdom that is best known as the den of _theives_ and _scavengers_ , and yet they are the ones where Faunus are most welcomed...what a weird _coincidence_ , We are a long way from _them_ ' _agreeing to let'_ us be ' _equal'_ ," He spit the word as if it itself was a personal insult. 

".. I know, that's why I asked. When do you think we will be able to reach equality?"

" _Never_. I don't think the _humans_ will ever ' _grant_ ' us ' _equality'_. We have to take it. Besides, Sienna says the council really runs the school not Lionheart. They appointed him as a figure head. They threw the dog a bone so to speak. They still don't see as ' _equals'_. And I doubt they ever will"

Another reason she was always alone. Another reason it took so long to open up to her team. They were human. One of them was a Schnee for crying out loud. 

"...Yes," came the soft voice of the person Blake kept forgetting she was talking to. "She did... _We_ did terrible things...We were ruthless rulers...Who spread and our word and abolished those who stood in our way...But despite that..." He sighed, a broken hurting sigh that seemed to drip with shame. "Yes there were undoubtedly times when she had used her... _claim_ to me...And time again and again I still fell for it. It was always so _difficult_...Even when we were fighting, through everything...to resist the pull that she still had on me...Perhaps the one she would always have on me,"

Well, Blake couldn't back down from her real question. She had to ask. Something that she hoped Oz would understand and be able to help with. Especially since he seemed to be reaffirming that he understood with his every answer. 

"Then...Are there ever moments when you...Miss her? Wish you could go back to before? Feel awful for killing her?"  
She waited. 

"...Yes,"

Relief flooded through Blake. But it didn't solve her own confusion. "Why?" 

"It is as you said. I _care...ed_ about her. She was once my everything, my partner, my wife, I worked well with her and I fought by her side. I... _loved_ her. It is only natural that I miss her,"

Natural? Was Blake unnatural for being slightly glad that Adam was gone? Was it wrong that she doesn't know if she misses him? ...She doesn't really think she does. But at the same time...She does...Or perhaps she just misses who she thought he was, a lionized version of him that she had let carry her away... The one she had once thought was the personification of justice...Had he ever truly been like that? Had he _changed_ or was it all an illusion that had shattered? 

"But... after everything she has done, doesn't that... Shouldn't that cancel out the good times?" Shouldn't ever single memory of that...woman fill him with _revulsion_? Or does he split her into different people in his mind, to help with the justification of killing the monster but not the person he once knew? 

"Should it? Do the mistakes we make counter out the good we do? Do the bad times erase the good? How do we judge someone? On their final act? Say a good kind person who once did wondrous deeds turns into a monster are they any better or worse then a monster who had committed terrible atrocities and then learned the error of their ways and became good and kind? Can either of those people truly measure up to a monster who has always been a monster? Or perhaps the true monster is the person who _willingly chooses_ to become a monster. How can we justify the worth of a person, by the sum of their actions, the sum of the consequences, or by something as fickle and inconstant as their intentions? By our choices? What if those choices truly were not ours but rather circumstances, do we judge people based on _who they could have been_? Or who they _were_...Or who they _tried_ to be? Even if sometimes that trying only lead to failure. How can we logically take everything into an account?"

She had done terrible things too. And so had the young man before her. What made them any different from the monsters they faught? 

"...I don't know,"

"Alas neither do I," The young boy looked so lost, and she had a feeling he also wasn't just talking about _Salem,_ but about himself. 

"Salem was...evil," So was Adam.

"Yes, but do you honestly think that people pursue evil because it is evil, for wickedness' sake, or because they mistakenly think it will cause happiness or good, for them at least,"

"How can you defend her?! How can you defend any of them? Salem, Cinder, Adam, Hazel, Torchwick, Neo, Tyrian, Watts, Mercury, Emerald. They have done too much! They saught only evil"

"And yet how can I condemn anyone?! _Me_ of all people? I have done just as much if not more,"

"I know,...but..." Blake began to laugh a little uncertainly. "I once called Ruby naïve for likening the world to a fairytale...With heroes and villains... People who are either good or bad...Now I...Find myself wishing for it to be that simple,"

"I understand. I wish it were so, too sometimes...But that sentiment is childish and does us no real good,"

"No, it doesn't,"

 _"_ Yes, Salem was...evil," 

_Evil_. In the wrong. Spiteful. Wicked. What do any of these words even mean? How does she know that she herself hadn't committed evil actions. 

"But," He continued. "she was not always so," 

Yes, Blake knew that. She'd seen it in Jin's vision. It was one of those things that no one liked remembering. In fact, the only one who likely did remember was, the one without the luxury of forgetting, the boy in front of her. A loney girl who had turned into a monster. Her misery and isolation had hardened her heart and caused her to retaliate. 

Adam was a victim once too, as he had loved to remind Blake. Hurt and tormented, he turned to spite and hatred to salve his own bleeding wounds. 

But his previous pain doesn't change what Adam did. 

...And none of that changes what _Blake_ did. 

"So...do you still _love_ her?" 

"...Truthfully, I know not. Once I called her lover. Once the chance to make her laugh was all I ever wanted. And yet you are right... I also _hated_ her,"

"Did you ever have someone else that you loved? Besides her,...after her," _Were you able to ever truly move on? Or were all your relationships forever haunted by the spector of the past?_

"That is _complicated_. It depends on.. _.who_ you are asking... _Ozma_ never did...Sometimes I have had other relationships _before_...well I...they became...Him...Me. They oft turned out...not as I would have wished..." He sighed and gave a bitter chuckle. "To be perfectly honest Ms. Belladonna, I am not the best person to give relationship advice, in fact I would venture as far as to label me one of the _worst,_...I have always been quite...Well...um...Uh.. _useless_ when it comes to matters of the heart. Uh...So um..if that's why you have come,"

"It's not," She cut him off. "At least ...not really" she could deal with what Adam did to her...But what was really torturing her was what _she_ did to Adam. 

"If you're here because of...Your leader, then um uh," he trailed off, a slight redness to his cheeks. 

"I'm not, Ruby can make her own choices,"

"I see... Then uh...why are you here?" 

"How much do you know about the White Fang?" It was also bigger than Adam himself, but everything he represented. Everything she thought she had loved about him mirrored the organization itself. 

"A good deal... It was originally a peaceful organization that rallied for the equal treatment for the Faunus. It harolded in many of the changes we see today. It was pioneered by your father the Chief of Managarie, Gira Belladonna. However, after he stepped down the whole organization began to be more and more... _radicalized_ until eventually they were officially declared a terrorist group by the Vital Council of Vale. However, thanks to you and your friends that has been overturned and the once noble cause will not end in disgrace,"

"Many people said we shouldn't have kept the name. It would have been better... _Easier_ to start from scratch rather then try and reverse people's opinions on a band of thieves, criminals, and... terrorists,"

"What do _you_ think?"

"Yes, it _would_ have been easier. But that's part of the point. The original goal of the White fang was to change minds and overturn people's beliefs about Faunuskind...And that is _not easy_ , keeping our name reminds us that. It serves as a symbol not just of the human mistreatment of Faunus but that we, _Faunuskind_ , are just as prone to violence and hatred, as humans. It reminds us that the old White Fang, the terrorist organization, is _not_ the right way to respond. Hatred only breeds more hatred, and we must break the cycle...not reverse it. Plus I couldn't let my father's legacy be forever connected with... with murderers,"

"I see. That was a rather insightful choice,"

"I was born into the white fang. I was raised by it...I saw the changes. I saw my father step down. My mother along with him and the rest of the high council of Managarie. They left when it changed...I didn't. I _hated_ them, called them cowards, for leaving. But... I was the _real_ coward that didn't want to accept the reality that what we were doing was bad...When I couldn't ignore how bad it had gotten , I _ran._..I used your school to _hide_. Tried to put my past behind me...But it followed me. Everywhere I went; it followed me. No matter what I did; it followed me. Roman torchwick and Cinder both worked with the Fang. The Fang was there at the Fall,"

"Yes, Salem has always been quite skilled at appealing to the more ostracized in our society, it makes a terrible amount of sense that her goals seemed, at least superficially, to align with the White Fang's cause,"

"I figured it was my fault...The Fall, I mean,"

"It wasn't,"

"No, not all of it. But I brought the Fang...and...Adam was there for a personal fight against me"

"That may be partly true, but this war has always been about the interpersonal relations. My mistakes and demons may have intermingled with your own but at the end of the day, you still deserve not the blame,"

"You're not the only one who has tried to get me to stop blaming myself," her ears folded back against her head as she hung it in shame. 

The young boy sighed and dropped his head as well. "It is at times cathartic, is it not?" Her ears flicked back up, in surprise. He looked at her. "Shame. Self-pity. Self hatred." He clarified. "Because if you beat them to the punch, and blame yourself _before_ they blame you, then you can decieve yourself into thinking, you have arisen above the inevitable fall out. If you isolate yourself then no one will ever have the opportunity to ostracize you. If you run away and hide before they force you to leave, then you can at least fool yourself into thinking you left on _your own terms_. Somehow blaming yourself for everything and believing the worst about yourself can be... freeing. Afterall, if you _despise yoursel_ f, then what more can others say that has not crossed your mind already," 

Blake nodded, for a moment unable to respond to this idea that was suddenly given words to describe...She was doing it again... wasn't she? Running, hiding, shutting herself out. 

"...Yeah...But I don't want to be _alone_ , anymore. Isolated. Not when I see how much _better_ everything is with other people," Blake had sworn she was done being a coward. She had promised to let others be there for her and in turn to be there for others. 

"That's where we differ you and I. That feeling of togetherness and friendship inspires you to be better. To stop running and hiding,"

"What about you? I know you also _want_ to be with others... Even if Ozpin didn't, which I am not sure I believe,...Oscar, at least, seemed happy to have some company," 

The youngest member of their little group had always been off to the sidelines. They had never really done much to make him feel like he belonged...Oscar had always been at best a _tagalong_ and at worst a _commodity_. Even when they...Tried to...well... Establish a tentative friendship with the boy, there was that ever lingering doubt and dread. Blake was never very good at making friends to begin with...Another thing they had in common. The more outgoing of their group tried to pull him in, Ruby for instance...But that was... _Complicated_. Jaune also seemed to care for him... But...Well that was also _complicated_. 

In fact it often seemed like the young boy was the personification of Confusion?...No not quite...it was more than that. He didn't just make no sense...he overturned and flipped what made sense on it's head... Nothing about him seemed to fit in...He didn't fit in with their group...Or with Ozpins old circle of conspirators...Or anywhere...to be honest. He was a paradox. His very existence was contrary to everything that they thought was established facts. He was a spit in the face to all scientific research that claimed magic didn't exist. He was the results of ridiculous and downright absurd circumstances that seemed to contradict all of recorded history, at least history as they had been taught. He was the embodiment of that crazy opposite and contradictory world...of _Contrariety_. Out of place...out of time. Two people in one. So young at the same time as being too old. Innocent as well as guilty. Alone but not. Deceptively complex for a simple farmhand. Easily overlooked...And yet so integral to this whole mess. 

"Perhaps...Oscar...He was so often alone. So was Oz...They both were. He had never experienced friendship before. At least not real friendship. He grew up alone with his aunt and their library...And considering everything that...has transpired...It is unsure about how well his first taste faired," he suddenly stopped as if something just occurred to him. "I am doing it again, are we not.. Speaking in third person again... I mean," he groaned at Blake's nod. 

"That must be difficult,"

"Immensely,"

Blake looked at him with curiosity unable to even know what to ask let alone how to do so. "What's it like?" 

"I...I Know not how to...Even begin to... explain it... It's like... I'm two people...But at the same time...Not. I see you and know things that I feel like I never experienced...But I did... I apologize...We can hardly keep my own thoughts straight...I often find myself speaking using the wrong word or the incorrect grammar... I.. we...are...am..so lost and alone...But not at the same time...I.. It makes no sense...not even to me...Sorry,"

No he didn't make any sense. He never has. From the moment of introduction to this small child who was supposedly the reincarnation of her old headmaster, to the proof of that claim, to the incorporation of the reality of what that meant, to where they are now. None of it ever made any sense. 

"Don't be. I'm sorry for asking,"

"I fault you not for your curiosity,"

"I once read a book about that...Two souls in one body I mean, it was...interesting, but it was a little confusing to read. The author was adapting a fairytale...probably one about you now that I think about it...And they chose to write a more...interactive piece. So the text itself was not straight forward, it switched point of views, and it was hard to follow at times...Although, I liked that it wasn't simplified down to a clear cut difference between the main character's two souls... It was a good book," she finished kind of awkwardly. 

"Sounds like an interesting read. I...as Oscar...used to love books. That probably would've been a book I might've enjoyed before all this happened....Although, I certainly have _no_ interest in such a thing now," 

A long awkward stretch. 

"What kind of books did...Do you like to read?"

"All of them," Oscar gave a soft chuckle. "Every single book that Aunt Em had...Oscar read. He.I mean...I...always liked adventure books the most, though. A sudden quest. A mysterious call to action leading the hero away from home into a fantastic new world...Rather ironic, now is it not?" 

"So then...the only friends you had growing up were...your books?"

"Yes. His...My...my...childhood was quite lonely. But...I am used to it. It's fine... even somewhat beneficial...I mean In terms of Ozpin's life....Well, it is a lot less confusing and painful when I stick to solidarity,"

"Yeah, that was my plan, too. At beacon I wasn't going to draw attention to myself, or get involved or attached. It was easier to stay on my own. Everyone was better off,"

"And then something changed?"

"Ruby, Yang, and even Wiess changed that..." She said with a slight smile. "They wouldn't _let_ me withdraw...No matter what I tried..." She didn't want to know what would have happened to her if Team RWBY hadn't been formed. Even despite everything they went through...she wouldn't trade any of it. Her team was what she had desperately needed all along, but never knew. 

Ruby a pure light that reminded her that there is good in the world, the young girl certainly showed her a different side of humanity than Adam ever preached.

Wiess who showed that people _could_ change, even if they had been taught and raised to act one way. Her clashes early on with the heiress reminded Blake of how much _both_ of their views had changed. After all just as Wiess had been taught to hate and scorn all Faunus, Blake had learned early on to associate the Schnee name with bigotry and evil.

And Yang who taught her what it meant to be strong, and not just in the physical sense. Yang who had understood her mad quest to want to do something, _anything_ to attone or save the White Fang, but also understood that it was breaking her down. Who saw that she was trying to destroy herself. Who instead of telling her to drop it or leave it or forget it...Told her to remember not to get lost. 

Her team who truly built her up. Who helped her see who she truly _wanted_ to be, and helped her be that person. Who she couldn't ever live without. If Blake hadn't met them, she would have been hopelessly _lost_.

She asked after a bit. "Do you really always leave the picking of teams to chance or did you know what you were doing when you put us together?"

"The first person you make eye contact with will be your partner for the next four years," Oz repeated those words from so long ago, that had changed their lives, with a slight chuckle. "Rather ridiculous sounding out loud," 

"To be honest, most of the things you do, sound like that,"

"Ah, yes. Well I admit that mostly they are slight of hand and the tricks of the charlatan trade. Nothing more nor less than a perfected part I play,"

"So it _wasn't_ by chance,"

"That your team ended up fully interconnected with my plans? The silver eyed warrior and her sister who were the second generation to Beacons previous Golden Team, and the daughters of two highly important political factions, one an heiress of the human elite and the dust embargo and the other a faunus with ties to both versions of the White Fang organization. It all rather seems too _perfect_... Does it not? I can say that in all my many many years...I have never encountered a true _coincidence_. Things always happen for a reason, usually mine own hand pulling the strings...No, I had a vested interest in you four as well as your friends, Team JNPR I mean, the springs that launched you off that cliff were monitored and controlled. Although, I only put you in the same vicinity and left the rest to fall into place,"

"The relics? The Chess pieces I mean, not the actual relics"

"Yes. I couldn't quiet help myself. I am a sucker for symbols and metaphors. Thus team RWBY the team of literal white knights was formed,"

"Remember that we are actual people. This isn't some fairytale or a game. We aren't archetypes. We aren't your chess pieces or your play things! We are _real people_ with _actual lives_ , you can't forget that," Blake's voice hardened into disapproval bordering on angry hatred. 

"Yes...I know,"

"Do you?" She challenged. 

"...yes. but that almost makes it worse, right?"

"It certainly makes it more manipulative,"

"Yes, As much as I dislike it...I am quite the _expert_ on manipulation,"

"I _hate_ manipulation. It's hard to find something more _evil_ than that. I...knew someone who used to get inside my head...Turn my own thoughts against me...Make me doubt myself...Feel small...It was awful,"

"I know. As I said...It is not a skill I am proud of, despite it being one of my best..."

"Yeah, you are really good at it... like you are at deception," her voice hardened again. 

"Well... Practice makes perfect, I suppose," 

"Yeah, well..." She trailed off. There was no point in all this bickering. It's not like he didn't know how terrible he could be. It's not like Blake is the first or the last to accuse him of these things. To hate him because of these things. It was all pointless. Besides that was just doing the same thing to this poor boy they had been doing from the very beginning. "Just keep remembering that,...and try to keep from getting lost in the story," 

"Or the past?"

"Or the past," Blake sighed, she also needed to take that advice. 

Don't get lost. Don't lose yourself. It was the advice from her father, even if she had already been too far down the path to hear it. It was what Yang meant when she told her to take breaks, get rest, and not let this consume her. It's what Ruby was preaching whenever she talked about optimism and hope remaining in the darkness of the world. It was what Wiess had been able to pull herself out of when she denounced Jacques' grip. What Yang had helped her do when they had pulled themselves from Adam's. Its what she was able to do for Illia, when she was so close to the edge. Don't ever give in and lose who you are. Don't get lost in your goals, even if they started out noble. Don't lose sight of what matters most. Don't get lost. Maybe that's how they can truly be different from those they faught. Salem had certainly lost herself. And so had Adam. 

"Or...In yourself...As Oz... Try not to get too lost, Oscar," She added. 

Oscar didn't respond for a while. 

"It's a little late for that," Oscar muttered so softly, that anyone else probably wouldn't have heard him. 

After a beat of uncomfortable silence, he spoke again. "Blake, What is it you _really_ want to ask?"

Blake had always been quiet...Some might claim a bit repressed. So when she had to talk about something like this she struggled to get the words out. "I...I asked you about Salem because...A similar thing happened to me. When...I left the White Fang, someone...followed me..." Stop and start. Collect her thoughts. Stop and start again. Calm her emotions. The young man waited patiently for her to finish what she needed to say. "He was trying as always to get me back under his thumb...And I... I...I k...k..killed him," it came out in a dead voice, as she finally admitted what she had done. "The person following me. I _killed_ him. Stabbed him in the chest...He was once my friend. I looked up to him. I knew him for years, I was there when he joined the white fang. We mentored eachother. We faught by each other's side and he always had my back. He helped me make my weapon, the very weapon... I killed him with...I thought I...loved him. He said he loved me... He tried to kill me. He hunted me down like an animal. He tried to kill my family. He tried to kill my friends. He cut off Yang's arm. I hated him. I _killed_ him,"

She took another shaking breath. "I am a _murderer_ ," She whispered. "I _murdered_ him. I know that technically as a member of the White Fang, I was a wanted criminal, but that was still the first time that... I directly and purposefully... _killed_ someone,"

Her ears were flattened against her skull. Her bright eyes staring at her hands as if checking to make sure they weren't really covered in blood. She clenched them shut, trying not to relive that moment...Again. She hadn't been able to fully process all of _this_ , couldn't really afford it with the war going on. Also, she was vastly out of practice with dealing with things in general, another product of her tendency to always run from her problems. 

"I know he _wasn't_ going to stop what he was doing," That's why she did it right? There was no other way. It was _self defense_. 

Those were _his_ excuses too. 

_No,_ she _wasn't_ like him. Right?

"He was going to continue to hurt people, hurt the people close to me. He was never going to let me go. He had become a _monster_. I shouldn't feel... this shaken up. But...I should be glad he's dead. And maybe I think...a part of me is...But I feel so guilty. Like _I'm_ the monster. I killed someone,"

"I see." Oz said gazing at her similar to the expression when he first asked what she was and how she knew the White Fang would be at the docks. "So you came searching advice from a true monster," 

"I... Didn't quite mean it like _that_ "

"It is fine. After all I do not deny it. I cannot. I have done too much. Killed too many people,"

"As Oz...Not Oscar," it was a moot point and they both knew it, but it didn't feel right to leave it unsaid. 

"It matters not," 

"So...How...Do you..."

"Whatever it is that you may be about to say... Whether it be recover, or forget, or move on, or forgive yourself, or attone, or simply process. I am afraid I cannot help you. For I know I will _never_ recover, forget, move on, forgive myself, attone, or even fully process my own guilt. Thus I have no words of wisdom for you,"

"So there's nothing I can do?"

"There are many things you can do, but naught I can help you with. I am afraid I am rather a poor model when it comes to guilt,"

"What about acceptance?"

"Yes. I have heard tell that that is an important first step. You must stop denying the horrible reality. It does one no good to try and _ignore_ things like this. Or to _lie_ to yourself. The first step is to accept it...And then move on. So they say, however I have never advanced beyond that first step,"

"Accept it right... Accept that I did... kill someone. Accept what that fully means. Take full responsibility for my actions.... Move on from denile and say out loud...I killed him. And what's worse I think... _I...wanted_... to kill him. If it came down to it again...I would...probably...Kill him _again_ ,"

"Yes. Accept. Then go through your reasons for your actions. Sometimes I am afraid there is no other way when you are backed into a corner. Although, I usually feel _worse_ as I mull over and remind myself of my own _excuses_... They usually ring shallow and hollow even to _my_ own ears. As I try and convince myself, over and over, that I took the right course of action,"

"My reasons... I did it for my friends...For the people he hurt...the people he swore he would destroy...To stop him from hurting anyone else... For _myself,_ because he had hurt me," 

"Feel better?"

"No,"

"Yeah,...thought not," He gave her a sad sympathetic smile. 

"Will I ever?"

"I am the wrong man to ask, as I know I _never_ will. I offer no comfort nor certainty in situations improving... Why you are even asking me?...I can provide not any answer you desire... I am living proof that sometimes there is no way out of the grasp of guilt and self loathing. But _you are not me_ , so I think you might be able to do that which I cannot,"

"Why do you think that?"

"Because I have already seen you and your team, do what I could not, pull yourselves out of the bleakest dire straits. As you said earlier your team is your strength and inspiration to do better to stop running and hiding. While I can offer you precious little in terms of help, I know that you can build each other up,"

"Then... I will repeat my own offer from before...Oscar, _you_ shouldn't be alone either,"

"I am better off alone,"

"No you're not. _No one_ is," Blake said seriously staring at this young boy. 

"Then perhaps... My phrasing needs to be revised... _everyone else_ is better off when I am alone,"

"You know, I ran again after The Fall. I thought distancing myself...again...would protect everyone... I figured that _they were better off without me_ , because I just caused them pain...But instead I hurt them by leaving...When I pushed them away, refused to let them help, and tried to do it on my own...I became the one hurting them," Sun had followed her and insisted on not leaving her, because as he said it hurt when she pushed away. Yang had been so angry because she had run, not because she had blamed her for what Adam did. 

Now here she was watching as someone else began distancing himself, running, hiding, and pushing everyone else away. She sighed. "Look this...Whole magic thing is weird and confusing... And I know that you never really felt like you were... allowed to be our friend because of it...and we certainly didn't help... with the way we acted...But... Maybe we should have been better friends to you, Oscar. _No one_ should be completely _alone_ ,"

"I am not completely alone. I no longer can be," 

"That's not what I meant,"

"I know,"

"It's hard to accept help, isn't it? Especially when you look back on everything you've done...and that makes you think maybe...You don't _deserve_ help... Like you said it's easier not to trust people...To refuse their help before you get to the point where they no longer choose to offer it. You fool yourself into thinking it's for the best...But it never is,"

"What if I am beyond help?" Came the terrified whisper of a broken boy who is far too young to ever ask that question. 

"Do you really believe anyone can ever be beyond help?" 

"What about those who are...Evil. Salem. Adam. Cinder. Hazel. Torchwick. Neo. Tyrian. Watts. Mercury. Emerald...Me,"

"You are... Not evil, Professor. At least not completely evil,"

"How would you know?"

"Well...How should we judge someone? How should we judge ourselves?" She repeated his question. 

"I know not how I should be judged,"

"Then perhaps you are judging yourself too harshly? As you said it is comfortable to hate yourself so much that you become your own enemy. But...Maybe not everyone despises you as much as you despise yourself,"

"I know many who would disagree with you,"

"Yeah...maybe...I don't think anyone is truly beyond help...But they have to want it. Trying to help someone who refuses to let themselves be helped is pointless...We both know that,"

"Yes. And sometimes we wish we could have helped someone. Think over and over if only I could have gotten through to them. If only I had tried harder to reach her. Made her see the error of her ways. Been there for her. Somehow maybe I could have...Saved her,"

"Not if she didn't want to be saved,"

"I know,"

"Well, what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Say you are this twisted wicked monster you claim to be, do you want to be saved? To be helped? To be pulled out before you lose yourself?"

"Too late. I have lost myself more times than I can count. I know not even who myself is,"

"...So then, start over,"

"What?"

"You have a new life. A new chance to start over. Salem is gone. I know that you have complicated feelings about that. You wish you could have saved her, but you still can't bring yourself to forgive her. You hate her and some part of you is relieved and glad she is gone, while the rest is torn apart in grief for who she could have been, and once was. Then you feel guilty for both being glad she's gone and for wanting her back even when you know what she did. Am I right?"

"...Yes"

"But all of that doesn't mean you can't move on. If you want to...That is. It's your choice to be alone. And you and I both know that it doesn't do anyone any good to be isolated,"

"...I know,"

"If people can slowly but surely come to see the White Fang as more than just a terrorist organization...Then maybe they can come to see Ozpin as more than just the cause of all this, the manipulative demon we made him out to be... Besides even demons and the creatures of Grimm have their packs and hordes. The monsters that are abhorred by everything and everyone aren't alone...So why should you be?"

"I am a reminder of the war, the very catalyst that began it, I should not be here...Not here. When we are trying so hard to rebuild everything and recover. It is not as if I have any place here anymore. Naught left to do...I am unfit for my task and responsibilities. I should just leave you to the happily ever after you earned and not darken your days with my endless reminder of all I have taken from you,"

"Reminders are everywhere. All around us. It's never going to go to a peaceful utopia without any hint of anything bad. That's not realistic. That's a fantasy. And thinking that if you leave everything will be fixed is insane...Yeah, you serve as a reminder. So do I. So does the organization I now help run. So does this school we are rebuilding. So what do we just go through our life with blinders on, so as not to see anything that might be a reminder of a tragedy? Should we just not talk about it and pretend it never happened? Talk about insulting every single person who died so that we could get here! Without reminders we wouldn't learn from our mistakes! Without what we went through we couldn't move forward! Should we throw out all the good because it happens to be intermingled with the bad? I would've thought you of all people would get that... After all we did the same to you...We hated the young boy because he was in association with Ozpin. And we were wrong. Now you want us to do it again? It's like those who want to change the name because the White Fang is associated with bad things. Should we rename the academies too? What about every lesson you taught us as our headmaster, should we ignore them now? Everything is a reminder. Not just you. Everything is different. Not just you. But no one should be alone. Not even you. And no one is beyond saving. Not even you,"

"You're right... It's not easy,"

"But that's the point,"

"Thank you. I know you came seeking council and some catharsis. I am sorry I couldn't give you either, in fact it seems that you provided some for me,"

"Yeah... But it did help. Even if you simply reminded me that I already knew the answer to my problem...My Team, my friends, other people... They're the answer. Exactly the opposite of what we both feel and what we want to do in our cowardice. You also helped me make some sense of my complicated emotions,"

Suddenly a laugh exploded out of him, a slightly bitter laugh. "Sorry just the pure irony of _me_ of all people helping things _make sense_ and helping you _understand_ convoluted and tangled up emotions,"

"But you did help. Maybe not in the way I expected...But..." She sighed again. "Oscar?"

"...Yes?"

"Will you at least think about what I said?"

"About being alone?"

"Yes,"

"Probably. You are not the first person to say that. It is an old habit,"

"It's a bad one,"

"Yes...Most of mine are,"

"Seriously, kid...After all wasn't loneliness one of the things that... Destroyed Salem?"

"...Yes,"

"It nearly destroyed me. Don't let it destroy you,"

"What if I would be better off destroyed?" He whispered, but Blake heard him her ears flicking to the soft sound. 

"You aren't," He looked at her like he didn't believe she really thought that. "Really you aren't. No one is. Not even the worst person,"

"I suppose not," he said slowly doubting every word. 

"Just try...OK? Try not to get lost? And if you are lost, there are people who want to help you out, if you let them,"

"I am amazed that anyone wants to help me," 

"Yeah,...But it doesn't matter if you deserve it or not. Maybe it's not about us, but about the people who are willing to help. And there are still people willing to help you, we can try...Well I can't speak for everyone but I believe we are willing to try...To be better... Friends to you. Everyone needs a friend sometimes...Even you,"

"Thank you," He sounded so young and scared when he said that, but she recognized the suspicion in his eyes, as if he wasn't sure what Blake said was true. She had often worn the same expression. 

"And thank you, for your offer one day to a girl convinced that she would never need nor want it. But you still offered. So I make the same one now, If you ever need anything...Or need to talk, don't hesitate to ask,"

He gave a wry smile as he recognized the almost exact wording. "I will keep that in mind. Along with what you said,"

With that Blake nodded and got up to leave. "Thanks for your time, Professor," She added as a bookend harkening back to when she refused his offer. 

Hopefully Oscar wouldn't refuse help like she had for so long. It was weird to interact with this boy, not knowing who exactly he was anymore...But they had pulled him into their little group when circumstances pushed them together. Yeah it was... Awkward. Yeah,...They didn't exactly treat him the best...But they still liked to entertain the idea that he was a part of the group, the team...Even when they left him behind, pushed him away, or let him fade into the background. Well it was time to put the lien where their mouth was...And try to be there for this little kid,...And he really was just a kid, he was barely as old as Ruby was when she first entered Beacon.

Blake meant what she said, no one deserves to be all alone. Certainly not alone in a prison they built for themselves out of shame and self-loathing. Now she just hopes that something is able to get through to him...So that he can actually accept help, because anyone could see that the boy desperately needed it. 


End file.
